Rehearsal
-
- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Rehearsal
Rehearsal
He stands upright, listing right
and left as if our orchestra
were a floundering ship,
his long, grey hair flailing
in the air's salt. Suddenly
he stops and asks, What the hell
happened to the allegro?
He demands music be precise,
like the uniform creases
on a parade ground.
One guilty violin bursts
into sobs but abruptly
stops. We're like strangers
sharing a lifeboat. We look up
at him as if only he can turn
the crank, lowering us
into the sea's safe lap.
He sighs heavily. We're children
waiting out our father's
rant. Finally he picks up
the baton, and waves it again,
determined to save not only
our reputations but
Vivaldi's, too.
He stands upright, listing right
and left as if our orchestra
were a floundering ship,
his long, grey hair flailing
in the air's salt. Suddenly
he stops and asks, What the hell
happened to the allegro?
He demands music be precise,
like the uniform creases
on a parade ground.
One guilty violin bursts
into sobs but abruptly
stops. We're like strangers
sharing a lifeboat. We look up
at him as if only he can turn
the crank, lowering us
into the sea's safe lap.
He sighs heavily. We're children
waiting out our father's
rant. Finally he picks up
the baton, and waves it again,
determined to save not only
our reputations but
Vivaldi's, too.
Re: Rehearsal
Bob---
a building of notes into a four seasons of poem...
masterful and patient building, layering.
What the hell
happened to the allegro?
He demands music be precise,
like the uniform creases
on a parade ground.
only he can turn
the crank, lowering us
into the sea's safe lap.
He sighs heavily.
love that safe lap.
and the master close bringing it all together:
determined to save not only
our reputations but
Vivaldi's, too.
terrific poem.
bernie
Four Seasons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRxofEmo3HA
a building of notes into a four seasons of poem...
masterful and patient building, layering.
What the hell
happened to the allegro?
He demands music be precise,
like the uniform creases
on a parade ground.
only he can turn
the crank, lowering us
into the sea's safe lap.
He sighs heavily.
love that safe lap.
and the master close bringing it all together:
determined to save not only
our reputations but
Vivaldi's, too.
terrific poem.
bernie
Four Seasons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRxofEmo3HA
-
- Posts: 68
- Joined: 08 Oct 2017, 05:13
Re: Rehearsal
really enjoyed this, the clear images of the conductor and all the details capturing the rough sea, and the lowering of the life boat into the seas safe lap. Love the analogy, Nice work.
-
- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Rehearsal
Hi Bob
esp liked:
" . . We're like strangers
sharing a lifeboat."
Michael (MV)
-
- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Rehearsal
Bob. Imho, this is the best poem of yours I've read. Ring of truth.
Syntax would demand that when saying "we", it must be followed by "our" instead of
their.
Syntax would demand that when saying "we", it must be followed by "our" instead of
their.
-
- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Rehearsal
Thanks, everyone, for commenting...Bob
Re: Rehearsal
Hi Bob,
I think this is brilliant with all its sea references too. There are many lines to like, too many to mention.
Love 'the sea's safe lap' Great work.
Eira
I think this is brilliant with all its sea references too. There are many lines to like, too many to mention.
Love 'the sea's safe lap' Great work.
Eira
-
- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Rehearsal
Capricorn, thanks--I appreciate it....best, Bob
-
- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Rehearsal
Hi again Bob,
w/out the "and asks" & w/ " "
. . . Suddenly
he stops, "What the hell
happened to the allegro? "
The conductor & the orchestra
are not going to go down
with the ship - Vivaldi - that is staying afloat
Michael (MV)
-
- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Rehearsal
Thanks, Michael and Capricorn....I appreciate it....best