Summer Wildflowers

[BobBradshaw]

Summer Wildflowers


What will you recall years from now
paging through your diary?

I know how I will remember you--   
as a season filled with sprays 

of purple shooting stars.  
Will you gaze at your notes tenderly

the way we once lay in fields 
of checkerbloom and oat grass,

looking out onto the Pacific
with its long-finned humpbacks?

Or as you read will you struggle
to recall my voice, my face

lost like the headlands
in a coastal fog?

Will you have lost sight too
of the bluecurls and irises we so loved,

all details erased except
for the grasses mussed by wind

and slanting rain--the hills
vanishing under a tarp of mist

like covered bales
of hay?

[FranktheFrank]

Very nice.

[Bernie01]

Bob---

is it too sweet? so many years on, a narrator looks back. i wonder, is there growth---emotional growth in those passing years.


hoping for a little bittersweet, with all those flowers,



...a season filled with sprays

...purple shooting stars.


gazing ....at your notes tenderly

....we once lay in fields
of checkerbloom and oat grass,

and...looking out onto the Pacific
with its long-finned humpbacks?




and then here, a touch of reality and contemporary, adult sensibility:


Or as you read will you struggle
to recall my voice, my face

lost like the headlands
in a coastal fog?


Will you have lost sight too
of the bluecurls and irises we so loved,------------cut these two lines




all details erased except-----------last six lines are exceptional---show mature acceptance
for the grasses mussed by wind

and slanting rain--the hills
vanishing under a tarp of mist

like covered bales
of hay?



bernie

[LindaLinda]

I agree with Bernie on the last six lines, just gorgeous, And for me there isn't a pair more perfect than love and flowers,
there are beautiful images throughout that brought me down the page, I love ....a season filled with sprays........of purple shooting
stars, enchanting in my book,
Linda

[Kenneth2816]

Nicely executed

[FranktheFrank]

I would be very careful of changing anything.
I have nominated it for this month.

[BobBradshaw]

You're very kind, Frank....thanks!

[Gracy321]

Hi!
I fall for love poems, except when they're very badly written.
There may be a few clichès in this one, but it's lovely and I wouldn't change much. I like the combination of flowers and love, as well as some nostalgia or doubts thrown in.
The lines below really hooked me.

Or as you read will you struggle
to recall my voice, my face

lost like the headlands
in a coastal fog?

Very nice, Gracy