Visit From My Father

[Kenneth2816]

It's 4 in the morning and I can't believe
he's pounding on the door in a rage
when I was six years old. I've dragged
the toybox across the room, piled
it with books and a chair to keep
him out, flattened myself under the bed
patch over one eye, rapier between my teeth.

It's not that he can't push his way in.
He wants to make me open it.

Unable to sleep, I head to the kitchen
to put on coffee, and there he is,
chair leaned against the wall
feet on the table. "What are you
doing here Pop?" I ask.

"Well, I just stopped by to see how
you were. It's been a pretty long time."

"Eight years actually. You died. You're dead."
"Not as long as you're alive I'm not."
He said with a pirate smile.
I pour us both a cup and settle in.

[Bernie01]

K---

love the set-up, the concept here.


suggestion for a close....

let the father raise his steaming mug, a cloud rising in the cold morning air almost obscuring his pirate's smile..


this was inspired:

...flattened myself under the bed
patch over one eye, rapier between my teeth.

bernie

[BobBradshaw]

Powerful poem! Everything is superb. Memorable ending....Kudos

[Gracy321]

Great poem, Kenneth. It had me intrigued. Real? A dream? Stranger Things?

But you deftly carried this reader to the splendid last lines, so that it all fell into place.
Enjoyed!
Best, Gracy

[Kenneth2816]

Thank you guys. Not the best thing I've ever written, but one of those that has to be written.

I appreciate the feedback and suggestions

[capricorn]

Great writing, Kenneth. Really like this and the ending - was wondering how it would end. Not too keen on 4 instead of four in L1, but I think that's probably just me.

Eira

[Kenneth2816]

Eira. Youre not alone in that:)

Thank you for reading