New York Pitch Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, Poetry

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 Post subject: s o l u n a r
PostPosted: 09 Nov 2017, 00:06 
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Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Posts: 1210
 
I am the mask you wear - it's me they hear
your(my) spirit & my(your) voice in one combine
          -- POTO


the face of sunshine at noon
masked by the phasing of the moon

thru lucent crescent inklings
beams a midnight-sun emoji

a jack-o-lantern w/ glow-in-
the-dark eyes & a mona lisa smile


in total UniSon - a fluent Triune
in 3 never apart harmony

I am with you always beyond E6
not strained or restrained

O the joyful noise yet
of an estranged duet


they remember how [right] it will be
they remember the melody
in the shadow of my shadow
in a gleam
                                                 -- FM (S. Nicks) "Straightback"





 

 

 
 
 
 


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 Post subject: Re: s o l u n a r
PostPosted: 10 Nov 2017, 18:28 
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Posts: 399
MV...all the descriptors of the sun/moon lingering are solid
Mona Lisa smile....oft used, worn

Ive always admired the clever way you tuck Christ into
your work without being ostentatious.
He'd approve.

Im so used to narrative poems, anything else looks alien.

But im trying.


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 Post subject: Re: s o l u n a r
PostPosted: 12 Nov 2017, 03:32 
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Joined: 19 Sep 2017, 09:10
Posts: 91
Location: Argentina
Hi MV,
I love your imagery, could be a painting. Also the title "solunar".
Not so sure about the phrasing, with dashes, sort of Twitter language, e.g. w/thru, 3, etc.
No need, you can now use 260 words on Twitter, LOL. Not yet in my country.
What is E6?
I suppose Triune is religious, but I don't get the reason why you use it, as I don't understand the context. My bad, sorry.
Would love a little help, because it's probably my own dimness.
Best, Gracy


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 Post subject: Re: s o l u n a r
PostPosted: 12 Nov 2017, 14:28 
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Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27
Posts: 368
Brevity is Michael's strength.
Hard for me to understand the poem fully.
Meena.

_________________
meenas17


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