Death Of A Light Heavyweight

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#1 Post by Bernie01 » 09 Dec 2017, 00:34

A bird or two wobble overhead,
sing and look off into the distance.

The mahogany coffin of my father,
silver rails white like his dress shirt.

His face closely shaven, unmarked.
No sign of 175 fights in half-filled gyms.

No evidence of his crouch, no evidence
of his right that could break a man's jaw.

I speak to his surviving friends,
his first wife, and to a reporter.

Words pour from my mouth, worthless.
The breath grows scarce.

I enter the house of my mother and father.
Nothing has changed or been put away.

His brass palomino clock,
the oiled shotgun and decoy ducks,

but its long since we hunted
the Susquehanna flats,

long since we floated the sea kayaks
into choppy Chesapeake Bay.

A lifetime since he drove my friends
and I to high school dances

or visited my dorm, or came to see
his granddaughter in Richmond.

The garden is unkempt, raspberry
bushes flailing in the wind.

Blue hydrangea dark as funeral drapes,
rhododendron crossing in uneven rows.

Unremarkable afternoon,
children eat, play and soon fall asleep;

A daze falls over the house and grounds,
the poplars continue what they were doing.

The dry birdbath, a layer of dust
in the cracked bowl.

The gym fills with the faithful,
lazy cigarette smoke rises in the klieg lights.

I imagine my father crouched at ringside
impatient to answer the timekeeper's silver bell.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 09 Dec 2017, 01:05

Wow, this is gorgeous, Bernie....and what a world class ending...what a punch. It's a remarkable poem from top to bottom. I love these lines:

The mahogany coffin of my father
polished and smooth like his white shirt.

His face closely shaven, unmarked.
No sign of 175 fights in half-filled gyms.

No evidence of his crouch, no evidence
of his right that could break a man's jaw.

....

The gym fills with the faithful,
lazy cigarette smoke rises in the klieg lights.

I imagine my father crouched at ringside
impatient to answer the timekeeper's silver bell.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 10 Dec 2017, 14:19

Very moving Bernie.

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#4 Post by Bernie01 » 11 Dec 2017, 23:15

Bob---

gee, what a review.

and I hope that my daughter will be able to say one day about me,

my father crouched at ringside
impatient to answer the timekeeper's silver bell.




Kenneth---

moving...an accolade that means a great deal to me. thanks for reading and commenting on this poem.


bernie

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 12 Dec 2017, 02:22

As Bob says, it is gorgeous
I've read and re-read
it is very good.
A departure from your usual in that it is longer.
You tell a very good narrative here, cast a mood that is so true.


The mahogany coffin of my father
polished and smooth like his white shirt.

The mahogany coffin of my father
like what? not a white shirt, incongruous white and mahogany.
something else, polished and smooth like his first gloves, like a horsehair ball, what are those balls called very heavy.

His face closely shaven, unmarked.
No sign of 175 fights in half-filled gyms.

I was thinking Mohammed Ali only fought 60 or so fights in his long career.

His face shaven or closely shaven?
No marks, except for the hook of his nose
and the broken cheekbone that still sticks out?

I speak to his surviving friends,
his first wife, and to a local reporter.

or old pals, or old friends we know they survive him
they can talk.

Or just a reporter?

Words pour from my mouth, worthless.
The breath grows scarce.

My breath hangs on frozen air, impotent against death

I enter the house of my mother and father. or the old house, little has changed.
Nothing has changed or been put away.


His brass palomino clock,
the oiled shotgun and decoy ducks,
or
His oiled shotgun and . . .

Blue hydrangea dark as funeral drapes,
rhododendron crossing in uneven rows.

or rhododendrons taking over, pushy as ever

The close is brilliant

The gym fills with the faithful,
lazy cigarette smoke rises in the klieg lights.

I imagine my father crouched at ringside
impatient to answer the timekeeper's silver bell. Maybe drop silver maybe another word than impatient, he's eager to finish it another word for eager.

A treat of a poem, some thoughts, hope you don't mind.


*****
but its long since we hunted
the Susquehanna flats,

long since we floated the sea kayaks
into choppy Chesapeake Bay.

A very long time since he drove
my friends and I to high school dances
*****
I feel the repeated 'long' isn't working
Could it be decades since high school?
years since we paddled kayaks in the choppy Chesapeake
ages since we hunted those Susquehanna flats

best wishes Bernie,
lovely poem.

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#6 Post by Bernie01 » 12 Dec 2017, 03:59

Frank---



great comments, i'll use them all.

Pound For Pound For All-Time The Greatest Was Sugar Ray Robinson
Rich Perez
August 19, 2009

LAS VEGAS, NV-The Greatest Pound for Pound fighter of all time is Sugar Ray Robinson. You would be hard pressed to find anyone in the Boxing circles who would disagree here.

We often hear the term Pound for Pound and think of guys like Oscar De La Hoya, Floyd Mayweather Jr, and currently Manny.

When you say "The Greatest" many think of Muhammed Ali and the self proclaimed label...Overall without a shadow of doubt Ali was the greatest entertaining heavyweight champion we ever saw in the ring.

Robinson was 74-1 when he finally got a title bought against Tommy Bell. Robinson had 40 KO's at that point in the first round.

Robinson had epic fights as a Welterweight and a Middleweight. To detail those would make this article very long...

Statistics
Real name Walker Smith Jr.
Nickname Sugar
Rated at Welterweight,
Middleweight,
Light-Heavyweight
Nationality American
Birth date May 3, 1921
Birth place Ailey, Georgia
Death date April 12 1989 (aged 67)
Death place Culver City, California
Stance Orthodox
Boxing record
Total fights 202
Wins 175
Wins by KO 108
Losses 19
Draws 6
No contests 2




still pondering that coffin/white shirt image.

missed you. you've inspired a long er poem attempt.


bernie

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#7 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Dec 2017, 00:33

Did you ever hear of a Welsh boxer by the name of Tommy Farr.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Farr.

On 30 August 1937, Farr fought world heavyweight champion Joe Louis at the height of his career at Yankee Stadium, New York City; he gained respect despite losing a controversial points decision after 15 rounds. Louis, one of the greatest heavyweights of all time, had knocked out 8 of his previous 9 opponents and proceeded to knock out his next 7, but was fearlessly attacked and hurt by Farr. The 50,000 crowd booed when Louis was awarded the decision[2][3][4] after referee Arthur Donovan, Sr. had seemingly raised Farr's glove in victory. Seven years later, in his published account of the fight, Donovan apologised for the 'mistake'.[5] "Mistakes" hardly ended there, however. Donovan's own scorecard, had 13 rounds going to Louis. Though mixed accounts in main tell us Louis deserved the nod, 13 frames out of 15 prompted these words from a British sportswriter: "The verdict is that of a man either blindly partisan or afflicted with astigmatism. It is a verdict that justifies the beliefs that nothing short of the annihilation of Louis would have given Farr victory. That Louis won may not be disputed, but as I read the fight, there was only a fractional difference in his favour at the finish."[6]
Self-selection bias of "how close" the fight between Farr and Louis, continued for many years. In The Encyclopedia of Boxing, as compiled by Gilbert Odd in the 1980s, Tommy's listing concludes its thumbnail on the championship bout with "...Louis came back strongly and clinched a narrow points verdict

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#8 Post by Bernie01 » 14 Dec 2017, 03:32

hi Frank---



my family was solidly Joe Louis, i was not yet born and i never heard an opinion from my father.

lots of film on the internet.

$60,000 to mr. farr. he would not win his match with Braddock....and limited success in fights after that, but anti fascist and a gentleman---both fighters came from scrappy working class backgrounds.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF2oLDZpxeo

one line of comment, Joe Louis broke a finger early in the fight.


what an era---that pre-World War II period of world history.



bernie

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

#9 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Dec 2017, 10:51

Same when I was young, Tommy Farr was all the talk, for decades after the event.
My own feeling is that fight took the best out of him and he was never the same
and that the margin was minimal, and perhaps the Americas was an influence
maybe a subconscious bias, covert bias. That's bound to be my view.
But I think it could only have been a Welshman to have lasted and given
so much of a fight to that other hero Joe Louis.

I've been busy last month on the Waters, the NanPo event in November.

best wishes

Post Reply