Anthem at my Father's Funeral

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capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#1 Post by capricorn » 11 Jan 2018, 02:57

Anthem at my Father's Funeral

I'd lost the music deep inside
me, dormant since my father died
until I heard the miners sing,
Land of my Father's surging tide
of harmonies. I burned with pride.
Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#2 Post by Bernie01 » 11 Jan 2018, 06:49

C---


you have integrated these poetry elements nicely, the music speaks clearly as with both the sentiment and emotion.

very nice performance.


i will be especially interested in how you utilize these talents, these instincts in future work.



bernie

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#3 Post by FranktheFrank » 11 Jan 2018, 15:47

Old Land of my Fathers
Lyrics by Evan James
music composed by his son, James James,

Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi,
Gwlad beirdd a chantorion, enwogion o fri;
Ei gwrol ryfelwyr, gwladgarwyr tra mâd,
Tros ryddid gollasant eu gwaed.

Chorus:
Gwlad, Gwlad, pleidiol wyf i'm gwlad,
Tra môr yn fur i'r bur hoff bau,
O bydded i'r heniaith barhau.

Hen Gymru fynyddig, paradwys y bardd;
Pob dyffryn, pob clogwyn, i'm golwg sydd hardd
Trwy deimlad gwladgarol, mor swynol yw si
Ei nentydd, afonydd, i fi.

Chorus

Os treisiodd y gelyn fy ngwlad dan ei droed,
Mae hen iaith y Cymry mor fyw ag erioed,
Ni luddiwyd yr awen gan erchyll law brad,
Na thelyn berseiniol fy ngwlad.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hen_Wlad_Fy_Nhadau

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#4 Post by meenas17 » 11 Jan 2018, 18:31

Sadness and pride intertwine,
the surge of emotions interlock,
while the music intercepts.

Nicely done.

Meena.
meenas17

Damoms69
Posts: 2
Joined: 15 Jan 2018, 08:10

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#5 Post by Damoms69 » 16 Jan 2018, 10:03

Bob and Ken sweep the current IBPC. terrific poms, inspiration to us all.


บาคาร่าออนไลน์

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#6 Post by capricorn » 18 Jan 2018, 01:40

Bernie01 wrote:C---


you have integrated these poetry elements nicely, the music speaks clearly as with both the sentiment and emotion.

very nice performance.


i will be especially interested in how you utilize these talents, these instincts in future work.


bernie
Thanks Bernie. So glad you like this one.

Eira

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#7 Post by capricorn » 18 Jan 2018, 01:42

Thanks for posting that, Frank. I don't understand much Welsh, but my father spoke it fluently.

Eira

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#8 Post by capricorn » 18 Jan 2018, 01:43

meenas17 wrote:Sadness and pride intertwine,
the surge of emotions interlock,
while the music intercepts.

Nicely done.

Meena.
Thank you Meena.

Eira

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#9 Post by FranktheFrank » 18 Jan 2018, 03:12

The lyrics are translated in that link Eira.

RWCJames
Posts: 20
Joined: 22 Jan 2018, 01:16

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#10 Post by RWCJames » 23 Jan 2018, 12:36

capricorn - Your poem is an anthem in itself:

Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.

Instructional in its humility and reverence for homeland
missing from the political hysteria rampant on this side
of the waters. - RC

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#11 Post by FranktheFrank » 28 Jan 2018, 19:32

Eira I want to nominate this poem for this month's IBPC

I just don't like the word timbre, it's a perfectly good word,
but is there another you could choose, maybe a Welsh word?

Maybe the others can help on this, or maybe I'm wrong.

Whatever you choose I will still nominate with your permission.

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#12 Post by capricorn » 01 Feb 2018, 02:39

RWCJames wrote:capricorn - Your poem is an anthem in itself:

Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.

Instructional in its humility and reverence for homeland
missing from the political hysteria rampant on this side
of the waters. - RC
Thank you Richard - it is Richard isn't it, from MM? Good to see you here.

Eira

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#13 Post by capricorn » 01 Feb 2018, 03:04

FranktheFrank wrote:Eira I want to nominate this poem for this month's IBPC

I just don't like the word timbre, it's a perfectly good word,
but is there another you could choose, maybe a Welsh word?

Maybe the others can help on this, or maybe I'm wrong.

Whatever you choose I will still nominate with your permission.
Hi Frank, sorry I've only just seen this. We've had a worrying time with my son this week - he's been to the hospital again today. Will message you soon.

I'd be honoured to accept your nomination. As to 'timbre' I am wondering what it is you dislike about it? I chose it for assonance with 'wrings.' I can't offhand think of an alternative as it would have to fit in with meter - 2 syllables, strong beat/weak beat. A Welsh word would be great, but I only know a few words, none of them musical. I'll think on it.

Thanks
Eira

Gracy321
Posts: 94
Joined: 19 Sep 2017, 09:10
Location: Argentina
Contact:

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

#14 Post by Gracy321 » 05 Feb 2018, 07:35

capricorn wrote:Anthem at my Father's Funeral

I'd lost the music deep inside
me, dormant since my father died
until I heard the miners sing,
Land of my Father's surging tide
of harmonies. I burned with pride.
Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.
Hi Eira,
I've been away too long for various reasons. I just read that you're concerned about your son Jason's health. I'm so sorry about that and hope he'll recover soon. He was so well during the festivities. I'll write to you.

I love your poem. Don't think I have any nits. The musicality shines throughout, it could be a song in itself. In a few lines, you've deftly handled alliterations and good end rhymes. It's emotional, striking the perfect balance between personal feelings and justifiable pride of an ancestry bequeathed by your forefathers. And historical.

I'll second your poem for IBPC. Not sure for what month, but suppose it will represent February?

Best, Gracy

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