Cottage at Ynys y Bryn

[FranktheFrank]

(Cottage at Hillside Island)

In the sleeping meadow
on the slope of the hill
a window of sun wafts
warm greetings
a kiss

Scots pines shed cones
needles spread
beds of antioxidants
and flavonoids

the brook splashes
shaded
cool with brown trout
that pout among
the shingle
polished stones

The sky describes a circle
clouds pass in a hurry
A lark sails
on the wind
watching her chicks
sings her lullaby

I hear you draw near
cradle my head
I smell rosemary, chives,
flour, and freshly baked bread
you tossle my hair

Your rough hands knead
I fall fast
*****




In the sleeping meadow
on the slope of the hill
an island of sun warms
grass sways
wafting baked greetings
onto my lips
a kiss

Scots pines shed cones
around my feet, needles
spread, make my soft bed
the brook splashes nearby
shaded
cool with brown
trout that pout among
the shingle and polished stones

The sky describes a circle around me
clouds pass in a hurry
A lark sings
hauntingly
it sails on the wind
she watches her chicks
calls her lullaby

I hear you draw near
you cradle my head
I smell rosemary, chopped chives
flour, fresh baked bread
you tossle my hair
gently

Your rough hands knead
I fall fast




*****



In the sleeping meadow
on the slope of the hill
an island of sun warms
grass sways
wafting baked greetings
onto my lips
a kiss

Scots pines shed cones
around my feet, needles
spread, make my soft bed
the brook splashes nearby
shaded
cool with brown
trout that pout among
the shingle and polished stones

The sky describes a circle around me
clouds pass in a hurry
A lark sings
hauntingly
it sails on the wind
she watches her chicks
calls her lullaby

I hear you draw near
you cradle my head
I smell rosemary, chopped chives
flour, fresh baked bread
you tossle my hair
gently

Your rough hands knead
I fall fast

[Bernie01]

Frank---

love the final verse...

could we reduce---avoid the super precious small talk:


In the sleeping meadow


an island of sun warms
grass sways


wafting baked greetings
onto my lips
a kiss from God

Scots pines


cool with brown
trout that pout among
the shingle and polished stones


A lark sings


she watches her chicks
calls her lullaby



keep image making.



bernie

[Kenneth2816]

Frank. Like the ongoing trope of bread, dough,the small of baked goods, spice
and the kneading. I took "falling" to mean the opposite of rising which takes place in the oven; a surrender so to speak, at the expert hands of the kneader.

I would suggest scribe instead of DEscribe (which is odd).

I like the internal rhyme of spread/bed,
trout/pout.

I find the weakest stanza containing the lark.

This is a poem with great potential
Yet again, another domestic scene.

My thoughts...

[FranktheFrank]

Thanks Ken

Describe a circle is an engineering term
as well as others, verb.

(transitive) To represent by drawing; to draw a plan of; to delineate; to trace or mark out. quotations ▼
to describe a circle by the compasses; a torch waved about the head in such a way as to describe a circle. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/describe

I fall . . . asleep or whatever the reader sees in that short sentence.

I am odd, so I accept with pride.