Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 07 Mar 2018, 00:46

Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool


in his arms
as if carrying her across
the threshold of his apartment
the day they married,

lowering her gently,
the water hugging her waist,
the weight of her wasted body
forgotten

adrift, as light as a kickboard,

till he lifts her again,
high enough for a kiss,
their lips touching

like the day of their vows,
when the world for just
a moment shyly broke
into grins.

Bernie01
Posts: 777
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool

#2 Post by Bernie01 » 07 Mar 2018, 09:23

Bob---


A wonderful poem that illustrates most of what i feel about poetry:

understated emotion, a layered narrative plot that unfolds and reveals itself with each new verse, and showing, showing showing...

the poem begins with a novel image that is both familiar and new because it is shared so intimately with the reader.

and injury, that "wasted body." the vulnerability of the poem.

the three images, three perhaps, including the title that nest in the poem so artfully they are felt and not noticed:


1. Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool

2. in his arms
as if carrying her across
the threshold of his apartment
the day they married,

3 adrift, as light as a kickboard


the declarative close, in the same achieved tone and nested narrative as the body of the poem:

like the day of their vows,
when the world for just
a moment shyly broke
into grins.



a poem i enjoy reading, thinking about and feeling deeply.


bernie

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 08 Mar 2018, 11:19

Thank you, Bernie....your encouragement is money I'm putting away for hard times....best

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 09 Mar 2018, 15:43

Bob. Line breaks are superior here. The plain, simple use of language is also very good. Excellent close. Well done without an avalanche of emotion.
Nice work

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Tenderly He Carries Her into the Pool

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 11 Mar 2018, 00:14

Thanks, Ken....appreciate your read

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