Re: Waiting for a bus at Armarnath Temple

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FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Waiting for a bus at Armarnath Temple

#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 23 Mar 2018, 11:45

Waiting for a bus at Armarnath Temple

I take a bite from my pastie. A yogi, brown as betel
juice, stands next to me, near naked save
for an umbrella, people bow to the divine in him.

A bell tings from within the Temple, a tinge
of regret, I have no faith, I cannot conceive
of a pantheon made in the images of beasts.

A pretty girl flits like a butterfly
around vapour rising from a dung heap,
spotless in her lemon dress.

There is a queue for the kerbside barber,
he wags his head as Hindus do, he grins
as I caress my two days' growth.

My expresso comes in a cardboard cup, courtesy
of the bus stop coffee shop, a broken down van,
sans wheels, sans engine, a surfeit of rust.

Sahrinda comes like a floating white shawl,
to wrap me in tenderness, her camisole pulls
my eyes to the soft swell of her breasts.

Our bus looms out of the New Delhi smog,
a red double decker, shaking and puffing
like an aged Loch Ness monster.

    BobBradshaw
    Posts: 2683
    Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

    Re: Re: Waiting for a Bus Outside Armarnath Temple

    #2 Post by BobBradshaw » 23 Mar 2018, 20:34

    Beautiful! Maybe your best... deserving of a nom... I could quote from every stanza... kudos

    FranktheFrank
    Posts: 1983
    Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
    Location: Between the mountains and the sea

    Re: Re: Waiting for a Bus Outside Armarnath Temple

    #3 Post by FranktheFrank » 23 Mar 2018, 20:42

    Thanks' Bob
    you have been on a roll this month
    with some very nice work.

    BobBradshaw
    Posts: 2683
    Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

    Re: Re: Waiting for a Bus Outside Armarnath Temple

    #4 Post by BobBradshaw » 23 Mar 2018, 21:22

    Just a quick note: take out the comma after dung

    FranktheFrank
    Posts: 1983
    Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
    Location: Between the mountains and the sea

    Re: Re: Waiting for a Bus Outside Armarnath Temple

    #5 Post by FranktheFrank » 23 Mar 2018, 22:19

    Thanks Bob
    those illusive commas left over from edits.

    FranktheFrank
    Posts: 1983
    Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
    Location: Between the mountains and the sea

    Re: Re: Waiting for a Bus Outside Armarnath Temple

    #6 Post by FranktheFrank » 24 Mar 2018, 12:44

    Final Final edited version -

    for now.

    I accept the nom.

    gratefully.

    IndianaDP
    Posts: 181
    Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

    Re: Re: Waiting for a Bus Outside Armarnath Temple-Final Ver

    #7 Post by IndianaDP » 24 Mar 2018, 17:08

    Hi Frank, I’m glad to see your wonderful poem nominated, well deserved. I love ‘near naked save for an umbrella’ and S2 is just perfect. I have never been to India, but through your poem can feel the atmosphere. A great story of love in the New Delhi smog.

    FranktheFrank
    Posts: 1983
    Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
    Location: Between the mountains and the sea

    Re: Re: Waiting for a Bus Outside Armarnath Temple-Final Ver

    #8 Post by FranktheFrank » 25 Mar 2018, 09:41

    Thanks Indiana (Dale) so nice to see you in the 'Block'.

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