v2:
Spider Orchids
My favorite?
An orchid from my childhood:
the great plains
white fringed orchid, her tresses
of snowy flowers
unloosening evening perfumes
for roaming male moths.
Then there's
your favorite,
the lady's slipper,
her labellum swollen
like a lover's
lip.
Wasn't I, too, first drawn
to my wife
not by her love of gardening
but by her Chanel scent
and her long white legs?
And, more important
her sultry lips?
Who knew then that love
would prove as loyal
as this greenhouse's
steady temperatures
and tender
mists?
v1:
Spider Orchids
My favorite? I choose
an orchid from my childhood:
the great plains
white fringed orchid, her tresses
of snowy flowers
unloosening evening perfumes
for roaming male moths.
Then there's probably
your favorite,
the lady's slipper,
her labellum swollen
like a lover's
lip.
Wasn't I, too, first drawn
to my wife
not by her love of gardening
but by her Chanel scent
and her long white legs?
And, more important
her sultry lips?
Who knew then that love
would prove as loyal
as this greenhouse's
steady temperatures
and tender
mists?
Spider Orchids
Re: Spider Orchids
Bob---
a joy and wonder. so original, beginning to end.
one fresh, unexpected image after another.
My favorite? I choose
an orchid from my childhood:
the great plains
white fringed orchid, her tresses
of snowy flowers
unloosening evening perfumes
(I almost blush.)
the lady's slipper,
her labellum swollen
like a lover's
lip.
...first drawn
to my wife
not by her love of gardening
but by her Chanel scent
and her long white legs?
And, more important
her sultry lips?
so intimate, yet delicate and always respectful.
Who knew then that love
would prove as loyal
as this greenhouse's
steady temperatures
and tender
mists?
what i call a world class ending.
my nom for the next IBPC.
bernie
a joy and wonder. so original, beginning to end.
one fresh, unexpected image after another.
My favorite? I choose
an orchid from my childhood:
the great plains
white fringed orchid, her tresses
of snowy flowers
unloosening evening perfumes
(I almost blush.)
the lady's slipper,
her labellum swollen
like a lover's
lip.
...first drawn
to my wife
not by her love of gardening
but by her Chanel scent
and her long white legs?
And, more important
her sultry lips?
so intimate, yet delicate and always respectful.
Who knew then that love
would prove as loyal
as this greenhouse's
steady temperatures
and tender
mists?
what i call a world class ending.
my nom for the next IBPC.
bernie
-
- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Spider Orchids
Your enthusiasm makes me almost blush....thanks, Bernie
Re: Spider Orchids
Yes indeed, a lovely poem Bob. Here are a few possible edits-
My favorite? A bloom
from my childhood:
the great plains
white fringed orchid, her tresses
of snowy flowers
I would cut ‘I choose’ as its obvious what follows is his choice.
unloosening evening perfumes
for roaming male moths.
Then there's your favorite,
the lady's slipper,
her labellum swollen
like a lover's
lip.
I would cut ‘probably’ after all these years it seems he would know.
Wasn't I, too, first drawn
to my wife
not by her love of gardening
but by her Chanel scent,
long white legs,
and more important
her sultry lips?
Trying to eliminate a few pronouns
Who knew then that love
would prove as loyal
as this greenhouse's
steady temperatures
and tender
mists?
My favorite? A bloom
from my childhood:
the great plains
white fringed orchid, her tresses
of snowy flowers
I would cut ‘I choose’ as its obvious what follows is his choice.
unloosening evening perfumes
for roaming male moths.
Then there's your favorite,
the lady's slipper,
her labellum swollen
like a lover's
lip.
I would cut ‘probably’ after all these years it seems he would know.
Wasn't I, too, first drawn
to my wife
not by her love of gardening
but by her Chanel scent,
long white legs,
and more important
her sultry lips?
Trying to eliminate a few pronouns
Who knew then that love
would prove as loyal
as this greenhouse's
steady temperatures
and tender
mists?
-
- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Spider Orchids
Thanks, Dale...I like your suggestions