Hi Kenneth,
revise/abbreviate the title; for example, "finding motivation"
"laces undone for the edema."
^^ most young people don't understand that - probably not time yet (a time to be young)
This poem is Spring @ the P of V of a senior - someone who has seen the spring-rise many times before (and still like the very first time
I'm 60, and still experience the rush of Easter & Spring like during in my concert-going days
^^ my epithet these days: the youngest senior
edema
has freed
my laces
slip-ons
and offs
(serendipitious that your revision appears Thursday May 10, 2018, same as this occasion:
https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/10 ... ar-AAx467k)
"The meter man wears a safari
helmet against the sun"
^^ creative enjamb on "safari" - resouceful, "safari" as noun & then as adjective modifying "helmut"
prompting me to workshop-suggest in lieu of "wears":
The meter man sports a safari
helmet against the sun
^^ fun for the alliteration, too
"The irises have broken ground,
The philodendron has tendriled."
^^ Hopkinsesque - esp "tendriled" - prompting me to workshop-share sans the article "The" & the auxiliary "has":
Irises have broken ground,
The philodendron, tendriled.
workshop share for the finale as:
The day is too beautiful to turn back
I leave the poem hearing a variation on James Taylor's:
"I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end"
^^ I see sunny days I believe will never end
Michael (MV)
in heaven
there is no sunset
the Son is always on the rise
Kenneth2816 wrote:If only for the sake of Tuesday
I should go out for a walk
with my one trick knee,
laces undone for the edema.
I organize my pills by color :
white, blue, salmon.
It is thirty seven light poles
to the fire station.
The meter man wears a safari
helmet against the sun,
tabulates this month's
abuse of power.
The irises have broken ground,
The philodendron has tendriled.
I turn back.The day is too beautiful.