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Puffins

Posted: 12 Jun 2018, 22:27
by BobBradshaw
Puffins


Who but a birder
could love
a bird short and stocky
with an absurdly
large, orange
snozz?

Yet there’s something
familiar about puffins
as their beaks brighten
during spring and summer,

letting the girls know
who the eligible bachelors are.

Once paired up
puffins often mate for life,
building burrows that boast
a separate lavatory
from the nursery,

cleanliness the family
motto.

They're not only
practical partners
--but good lovers
even if their goofy looks
tell us that couldn't
be true...

yet as winter approaches
we recall their red tipped beaks
and yellow feet
as fondly as our youth--

their colors fading
like an old romance

Re: Puffins

Posted: 13 Jun 2018, 04:42
by Bernie01
Bob:


sweet, adult and replete with warmth.


i like the tenderness that the poem uses to tell the story. the details, the contrasts and insights.


bernie

Re: Puffins

Posted: 13 Jun 2018, 06:43
by BobBradshaw
Thank you, Bernie...

Re: Puffins

Posted: 13 Jun 2018, 20:00
by Kenneth2816
Bob. When you are famous, scholars will call this your aviarian stage ✌

Re: Puffins

Posted: 13 Jun 2018, 20:38
by FranktheFrank
Anyone can see you are a bird lover Bob.
The details are very good.
As a boy I adored their funny ways.
Large colonies on the Welsh coast
under threat from rats, and seagulls
who take the food from their mouths.

Re: Puffins

Posted: 14 Jun 2018, 06:07
by BobBradshaw
Kenneth, lol...

Frank, thanks...I think we both like birds a lot

Re: Puffins

Posted: 14 Jun 2018, 10:19
by FranktheFrank
The other Brad I knew years ago
shared a forum with Bernie
wrote a marvellous poem about
the ratchet of the corncrake.
Really captured my imagination.

Re: Puffins

Posted: 15 Jun 2018, 09:02
by BobBradshaw
Thanks, Frank....I'll look up this bird

Re: Puffins

Posted: 29 Jun 2018, 13:51
by FranktheFrank
Puffins

Who but a birder [bird lover]
could love [would go]
[for] a bird short and stocky
with an absurdly
large, orange
snozz?

Yet there’s something
familiar about puffins
as [when] their beaks brighten
during [in] spring and summer,

letting the girls know
who the eligible bachelors are.

Once paired up
puffins often mate for life,
building burrows that boast
a separate lavatory
from the nursery,

cleanliness the family
motto.
They're not only
practical partners
--but good lovers
even if their goofy looks
tell us that couldn't
be true...

yet as winter approaches
we recall [dwell on] their red tipped beaks
and yellow feet
as fondly as our youth--

their colors fading [fade?]
like an old romance


Bob hope you don't mind the shrike-out's,
and the suggestions in parentheses.

Just a few suggested edits.

I will nominate this with your permission,
you may prefer another poem to go foreword.

Re: Puffins

Posted: 30 Jun 2018, 00:05
by BobBradshaw
Thanks, Frank. I would like your nomination very much. Best, Bob