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Piano Skills

Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,

afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday.

My knowledge of love
is like my piano skills,

and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down

and like bars of Ivory soap
in bath water, let go

they pop up
again.

v2:
Piano Sonata #16

Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,

afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday.

Why can’t I communicate
as simply as Mozart

in his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece for beginners?

That is what I am.
My knowledge of love

is like my piano skills,
and this is what I know of the piano:

I push the keys down
and like bars of Ivory soap

in bath water, let go
they pop up
again.


v1:
Piano Sonata #16

Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,

on my 16th birthday
as afraid to speak

as I am of algebra.
Why can’t I communicate

as simply as Mozart
played his Piano Sonata #16,

a piece meant for beginners?
That is what I am, despite

my age. My knowledge of love
is like my skills at the piano,

and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down

and like bars of soap in a bath
they pop up again.

BobBradshaw wrote:Piano Sonata #16

Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,

on my 16th birthday
as afraid to sprak ( strike up conversations)

as I am of algebra.
Why can’t I communicate

as simply as Mozart
played his Piano Sonata #16,

a piece meant for beginners?
That is what I am, despite

my age. My knowledge of love
is like my piano skills,

And this what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down

and like bars of soap in a bath
they pop up again.

Incomplex genius in this with simple language, straight forward musing of the narrator, encapsulated in a musical motif. Sixteen is that age of fantasy when boys brag to other boys about non existent conquests.

The soap bars are perfrct. A boy can do,well, a lot of things alone in the tub,
thoughts of mall girls and such.

I propose a bit of tightening. See edits.

Great Great work. My 2nd nom this month

Thx, Kenneth... very generous review...Bob

Bob, do bars of soap popup in a bath, I know piano key do,
my soap slips away deep in secret places.

I haven't taken a bath in decades, but I remember as a kid they did

Ah, here's the reason....we always used Ivory soap as a kid...here's a link that explains why Ivory soap floats;

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ivory-soap ... -floating/

Ahh, I see special soap
I think you have to mention the name then.

I use coal tar soap, kills bugs and parasites
but not nasty poets.

Ah, nasty poets are hard to kill...

Ivory soap has always been extremely popular here... not really a special soap... let’s see what others say

Bob---


locating the poem...


Surrounded by girls,
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,

afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday

as simply as Mozart
in his Piano Sonata #16,

a piece for beginners,
That is what I am.

my knowledge of love
is like my piano skills.

I push the keys down
without applause.



just another take.



bernie

Thanks, Frank, Bernie....I have absorbed some of your suggestions....best, Bob

Let me know if this works... thx, Bob

I have simplified this..,

Either is fine. Good poem