Piano Skills
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Piano Skills
Piano Skills
Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday.
My knowledge of love
is like my piano skills,
and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down
and like bars of Ivory soap
in bath water, let go
they pop up
again.
v2:
Piano Sonata #16
Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday.
Why can’t I communicate
as simply as Mozart
in his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece for beginners?
That is what I am.
My knowledge of love
is like my piano skills,
and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down
and like bars of Ivory soap
in bath water, let go
they pop up
again.
v1:
Piano Sonata #16
Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
on my 16th birthday
as afraid to speak
as I am of algebra.
Why can’t I communicate
as simply as Mozart
played his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece meant for beginners?
That is what I am, despite
my age. My knowledge of love
is like my skills at the piano,
and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down
and like bars of soap in a bath
they pop up again.
Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday.
My knowledge of love
is like my piano skills,
and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down
and like bars of Ivory soap
in bath water, let go
they pop up
again.
v2:
Piano Sonata #16
Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday.
Why can’t I communicate
as simply as Mozart
in his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece for beginners?
That is what I am.
My knowledge of love
is like my piano skills,
and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down
and like bars of Ivory soap
in bath water, let go
they pop up
again.
v1:
Piano Sonata #16
Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
on my 16th birthday
as afraid to speak
as I am of algebra.
Why can’t I communicate
as simply as Mozart
played his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece meant for beginners?
That is what I am, despite
my age. My knowledge of love
is like my skills at the piano,
and this is what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down
and like bars of soap in a bath
they pop up again.
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Incomplex genius in this with simple language, straight forward musing of the narrator, encapsulated in a musical motif. Sixteen is that age of fantasy when boys brag to other boys about non existent conquests.BobBradshaw wrote:Piano Sonata #16
Surrounded by girls at the mall
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
on my 16th birthday
as afraid to sprak ( strike up conversations)
as I am of algebra.
Why can’t I communicate
as simply as Mozart
played his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece meant for beginners?
That is what I am, despite
my age. My knowledge of love
is like my piano skills,
And this what I know of the piano:
I push the keys down
and like bars of soap in a bath
they pop up again.
The soap bars are perfrct. A boy can do,well, a lot of things alone in the tub,
thoughts of mall girls and such.
I propose a bit of tightening. See edits.
Great Great work. My 2nd nom this month
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Thx, Kenneth... very generous review...Bob
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- Posts: 1987
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Bob, do bars of soap popup in a bath, I know piano key do,
my soap slips away deep in secret places.
my soap slips away deep in secret places.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Piano Sonata #16
I haven't taken a bath in decades, but I remember as a kid they did
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Ah, here's the reason....we always used Ivory soap as a kid...here's a link that explains why Ivory soap floats;
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ivory-soap ... -floating/
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ivory-soap ... -floating/
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- Posts: 1987
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Ahh, I see special soap
I think you have to mention the name then.
I use coal tar soap, kills bugs and parasites
but not nasty poets.
I think you have to mention the name then.
I use coal tar soap, kills bugs and parasites
but not nasty poets.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Ah, nasty poets are hard to kill...
Ivory soap has always been extremely popular here... not really a special soap... let’s see what others say
Ivory soap has always been extremely popular here... not really a special soap... let’s see what others say
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Bob---
locating the poem...
Surrounded by girls,
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday
as simply as Mozart
in his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece for beginners,
That is what I am.
my knowledge of love
is like my piano skills.
I push the keys down
without applause.
just another take.
bernie
locating the poem...
Surrounded by girls,
I’m clumsy, inarticulate,
afraid to speak
on my 16th birthday
as simply as Mozart
in his Piano Sonata #16,
a piece for beginners,
That is what I am.
my knowledge of love
is like my piano skills.
I push the keys down
without applause.
just another take.
bernie
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Thanks, Frank, Bernie....I have absorbed some of your suggestions....best, Bob
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Piano Sonata #16
Let me know if this works... thx, Bob
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Piano Sonata #16
I have simplified this..,