Bull Elephants

[BobBradshaw]

v2:

Bull Elephants


Some, after a funeral
will gather at a "drinking pond",

toasting a fallen comrade.
A trunk will be raised and a final

goodbye trumpeted.
Teary-eyed, they may

even break into choruses
of Auld Lang Syne.

But most of the males remain loners
and isolate themselves

in dingy bars. Lost chances
at romance—as numerous

as the shots of bourbon
they throw down their throats—

are recalled, how the girls preferred
others with more power,

prestige. Many bulls,
like me, competed

with their one strength:
endurance.

For years I waged a difficult campaign
for Annie’s heart, a siege

like that of Khartoum's,
but in the end there was no

breaching of walls.
Only my retreat,

my heart left to wander
like a man on foot caught
in a sand storm...




v1:
Where Elephants Go To Die


The females become as sentimental
as old ladies holding babies,

touching their friends with their long
hands, as if for reassurance.

They wander garden shows, or watch
old Audrey Hepburn films together.

Males are different. Some, after a funeral
will gather at a "drinking pond",

toasting a fallen comrade.
A trunk will be raised and a final

goodbye trumpeted.
Teary--eyed, they may

even break into choruses
of Auld Lang Syne.

But most of the males remain loners
and isolate themselves

in dingy bars. Lost chances
at romance—as numerous

as the shots of bourbon
they throw down their throats—

are recalled, how the girls preferred
others with more power,

prestige. Many bulls,
like me, competed

with their one strength:
endurance.

For years I waged a difficult campaign
for Annie’s heart, a siege

like that of Khartoum's,
but in the end there was no

breaching of walls.
Only my retreat, my heart

left to wander without direction,
as if caught in a dust storm

[Michael (MV)]

Hi Bob,

upon a 1st read-thru:

Although I like the well-composed first 3 stanzas, I wonder if they are needed in the composite.



Also consider this linebreak:

For years I waged a difficult
campaign for Annie’s heart, a siege





Michael (MV)

[meenas17]

Enjoyed the expedition
Very good.

Meena

[BobBradshaw]

Meena, thx for liking this poem...

Michael, you're right on....I will trim and correct that line break...thx

[BobBradshaw]

Tweaked the ending... also, should I keep the title or change it to “Bill Elephants”?

[SivaRamanathan]

Bob

V2 reads better than V1.
I have a similar line 'Where Elephants Go To Die.' It is from an incident read in a Phantom comic.

S

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, Siva