Max the Queensland Cattle Dog

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FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Max the Queensland Cattle Dog

#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 15 Aug 2018, 02:18

It was hot that day on the cattle station,
shadows were getting longer.
She'd wandered off from the bar-b-que,
I followed her scent and tucked her under a fold
in the rock. She'd toddled up a hill two miles away.
I kept her warm throughout the night.
I heard calling at sun-up, boss was looking
for her, Aurora began to cry.

Got a steak that night, good dog.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Max the Queensland Cattle Dog

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Aug 2018, 07:39

Who is Aurora? Now that I know who Aurora is, through Ken, I find this piece touching...maybe you could identify who Aurora is though...I thought someone was looking for a dog, not the other way around when I first read this....maybe change the title to identify the girl....e.g., Max the Queensland Cattle Dog Saves Aurora....?

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Max the Queensland Cattle Dog

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 15 Aug 2018, 09:01

Aurora was the little girl who wandered off, I think. I recall several news articles about dogs saving children by keeping them warm, etc.

I think hearimg from the dog is very original and imaginative

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Max the Queensland Cattle Dog

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Aug 2018, 09:12

Good to know, Kenneth...that changes everything....Sorry, Frank....didn't know the background....I think now you just need to find an ending that works....the poem works except for that last line....

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Max the Queensland Cattle Dog

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 15 Aug 2018, 14:48

Maybe if I change that last line to:
Got a steak last night for being a good dog.

I see it's easy to get confused torn between putting a cutting
from the newspaper article as an epitaph, or including more information.

Maybe if I put: Boss' toddler wandered off . . . in L3.

Thanks for feedback, it's nice to know what the reader is thinking.

IndianaDP
Posts: 181
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Max the Queensland Cattle Dog

#6 Post by IndianaDP » 16 Aug 2018, 02:29

Not expecting the dog to be the narrator, interesting perspective, nicely done.

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