Bride of Frankenstein
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Bride of Frankenstein
v2:
Bride of Frankenstein
Gently he helped me off the table, my legs
shaking. "Your surgery was a success,"
he assured me. Bandaging
trailed me like a wedding train
as I walked through his lab.
Then that unholy corpse-pale
face leered through the window.
The door jumped off its hinges
as he burst into the room. "Friend",
he muttered, and his thick arms
reached for me. There was such
loneliness in those eyes,
like a beaten dog's. I screamed.
You know the rest, the walls
tumbling down on me and that
arrogant arse, Dr. Frankenstein,
escaping. Does it surprise you
to know I look back with shame
on that night? Had the Monster
hurt me? Or threatened me?
I saw only his hideousness,
not his pining for acceptance.
How desolate a landscape
his heart was, a bleak moor.
Instinctively screams leaped out of me
like flames from a torched tree.
Yet even now, years later
I wonder, would I do the right thing
if he were to reappear,"Friend"
on his lips? Would I extend my hand?
Or like the plant Mimosa pudica
would I close up, cringing
when touched?
v1:
Bride of Frankenstein
How terrified I was, awaking
strapped to a table like a sacrifice
to the gods, lightning flashing
like knives...
The rain stung me, and hailstones
pummeled me like an angry
mob's hurled stones--my screams
smothered by the storm's roar
as I was lowered through the roof.
Dr. Frankenstein gazed at me,
his eyes watering as if his first
child had been born.
Gently he helped me off the table, my legs
shaking. "Your surgery was a success,"
he assured me. Bandaging
trailed me like a wedding train
as I walked through his lab.
Then that unholy corpse-pale
face leered through the window.
The door jumped off its hinges
as he burst into the room. "Friend",
he muttered, and his thick arms
reached for me. There was such
loneliness in those eyes,
like a beaten dog's. I screamed.
You know the rest, the walls
tumbling down on me and that
arrogant arse, Dr. Frankenstein,
escaping. Does it surprise you
to know I look back with shame
on that night? Had the Monster
hurt me? Or threatened me?
I saw only his hideousness,
not his pining for acceptance.
How desolate a landscape
his heart was, a bleak moor.
Instinctively screams leaped out of me
like flames from a torched tree.
Yet even now, years later
I wonder, would I do the right thing
if he were to reappear,"Friend"
on his lips? Would I extend my hand?
Or like the plant Mimosa pudica
would I close up, cringing
when touched?
Bride of Frankenstein
Gently he helped me off the table, my legs
shaking. "Your surgery was a success,"
he assured me. Bandaging
trailed me like a wedding train
as I walked through his lab.
Then that unholy corpse-pale
face leered through the window.
The door jumped off its hinges
as he burst into the room. "Friend",
he muttered, and his thick arms
reached for me. There was such
loneliness in those eyes,
like a beaten dog's. I screamed.
You know the rest, the walls
tumbling down on me and that
arrogant arse, Dr. Frankenstein,
escaping. Does it surprise you
to know I look back with shame
on that night? Had the Monster
hurt me? Or threatened me?
I saw only his hideousness,
not his pining for acceptance.
How desolate a landscape
his heart was, a bleak moor.
Instinctively screams leaped out of me
like flames from a torched tree.
Yet even now, years later
I wonder, would I do the right thing
if he were to reappear,"Friend"
on his lips? Would I extend my hand?
Or like the plant Mimosa pudica
would I close up, cringing
when touched?
v1:
Bride of Frankenstein
How terrified I was, awaking
strapped to a table like a sacrifice
to the gods, lightning flashing
like knives...
The rain stung me, and hailstones
pummeled me like an angry
mob's hurled stones--my screams
smothered by the storm's roar
as I was lowered through the roof.
Dr. Frankenstein gazed at me,
his eyes watering as if his first
child had been born.
Gently he helped me off the table, my legs
shaking. "Your surgery was a success,"
he assured me. Bandaging
trailed me like a wedding train
as I walked through his lab.
Then that unholy corpse-pale
face leered through the window.
The door jumped off its hinges
as he burst into the room. "Friend",
he muttered, and his thick arms
reached for me. There was such
loneliness in those eyes,
like a beaten dog's. I screamed.
You know the rest, the walls
tumbling down on me and that
arrogant arse, Dr. Frankenstein,
escaping. Does it surprise you
to know I look back with shame
on that night? Had the Monster
hurt me? Or threatened me?
I saw only his hideousness,
not his pining for acceptance.
How desolate a landscape
his heart was, a bleak moor.
Instinctively screams leaped out of me
like flames from a torched tree.
Yet even now, years later
I wonder, would I do the right thing
if he were to reappear,"Friend"
on his lips? Would I extend my hand?
Or like the plant Mimosa pudica
would I close up, cringing
when touched?
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Bride of Frankenstein
Some very good lines Bob. I like that it is not humorous, but instead a well thought persona poem.
The pathos makes the piece, humanizing the monsters.
It's unique, fresh and compelling.
As a child, I recall feeling sorry for them
The pathos makes the piece, humanizing the monsters.
It's unique, fresh and compelling.
As a child, I recall feeling sorry for them
Re: Bride of Frankenstein
Great poem Bob, with your usual unique descriptions and images. The knives, the hailstones, the wedding train of bandages, the bleak moor, all such great images for this subject.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Bride of Frankenstein
Thanks, Billy....I look forward to reading more of your poems on this forum
Re: Bride of Frankenstein
A well told story. I especially like the development of the brides thinking. The beginning although written well to me seems unnecessary, it only describes the scene we are all familiar with from the movie. I would begin at stanza 7 and focus on the brides thoughts, let the reader imagine the scene themselves.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Bride of Frankenstein
Thanks for the suggestion, Dale....I'll think about it
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- Posts: 4
- Joined: 10 Oct 2018, 12:47
Re: Bride of Frankenstein
I think the last 5-6 stanzas of the poem deliver the real meat of the subject. Very strong. The flow of the poem over all is a bit jerky for me. Maybe consider longer lines?
I do like the imagery such as "flames from a torched tree" and others.
I do like the imagery such as "flames from a torched tree" and others.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Bride of Frankenstein
I have taken Dale's advice, and shortened the poem by trimming off its top...surgery seemed appropriate...let me know if you think v2 works better...thx