The Gurkha Officer [revised]

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FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

The Gurkha Officer [revised]

#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 08 Oct 2018, 21:14

Troops turn out from Pune Garrison
to quell the riots.
Times of India 1982

For one instant his eyes meet mine,
intelligence and focus shine, reflect

a god that cannot ever be mine. He wears
Empire khaki with the bush hat

of his regiment, a Sam Browne across
a starched shirt, his shorts neatly pressed.

He is handsome with black moustache
in sharp contrast to his tanned skin

he stands at the crossroads directing
his men, his baton points, like a rapier.

He utters a command, a rioter falls,
like Capa’s ‘Falling Soldier’

He turns to my driver and points
the way, we speed off crunching

glass. I watch, through the rear window
his precise automaton movements

that mete out death. He is an Arjuna
a warrior prince and master archer

when instructed by Krishna in dharma,
in holy duty to kill. “Now I am become
Death, destroyer of worlds”




******

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 09 Oct 2018, 00:55

Well polished, lovely writing

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#3 Post by Billy » 09 Oct 2018, 01:52

Yes, good writing. I like it all very much except for the wrapping up at the end. It seems a little too grand. But maybe just me and I just read this so I might change my mind after a few readings.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1168
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#4 Post by SivaRamanathan » 09 Oct 2018, 05:49

Reads well. Nicely worked poem.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 09 Oct 2018, 13:45

Thanks to you both, very kind of you.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 09 Oct 2018, 18:42

Agree with all the above. The quote at the end is made famous after Oppenheimer said it when the first bike was exploded

IndianaDP
Posts: 181
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#7 Post by IndianaDP » 09 Oct 2018, 21:33

Yes, it reads well, makes me ashamed I don’t know more about history. As an artist however I did get the Capa reference. I especially like Capa’s photo of a dead sparrow in the snow, not one of his war images, but just as meaningful.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#8 Post by FranktheFrank » 09 Oct 2018, 22:09

Thanks Ken, exploding bikes can be a problem. :)
Openhiemer never did ride a bike after this.

You are not expectd to know anything about history for this Dale, it's a personal
account, with a bit about Openhiemer, Hindu religion and a travel log of India.
Thanks for input.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#9 Post by Kenneth2816 » 10 Oct 2018, 10:29

Lol I meant to say first nuke

RhondaMaltbie
Posts: 4
Joined: 10 Oct 2018, 12:47

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#10 Post by RhondaMaltbie » 10 Oct 2018, 14:02

the poem is an easy read, I like the portrait of the soldier. nice work.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: The Gurkha Officer

#11 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Oct 2018, 15:24

Thanks all for work shopping.
I have taken Billy's point about the ending,
and agree, I have changed it somewhat
and I think it is better because of that.

The newest revision is on the top.

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