A Paper Death

[Kenneth2816]

Years of neglect, the lines
feeding the main pump
failed,forcing the inverter to
siphon air and backwash.

It wasn't like they say:
down the left arm,
sharp chest pains.

It was sweaty and clench-
jawed, more like a pulled muscle .

They stripped veins from one leg dangled them from a hemostat
like over boiled spaghetti,
grafted them in as if
splicing a break
in a radiator hose.

"You died on paper," they said,, meaning atrial fibrillation,
flat lined for a minute
as they fiddled with the
clamps, scissors, and retractors, delivered a rheostatic current.

Unsurvivable unless one
has the good fortune to
already have the breast bone divided,chest splayed,
a scavenged Christmas turkey.

I liked the sound of it-
"dead on paper," a clerical error, a rubbed spot from an eraser.

They walked me hard,
up and down the hall,
one hand on the IV pole,
the other clutching folds of fabric from a hospital gown
to cover my hind quarters.

Dying on paper takes a lot of work.

It's not like dying of an overdose
in an empty tub ,porcelain skin mottled with hues of livdity, your dying words commited to paper,
on the end table with the glass
rose, knowing this
was your time
when I could not
intervene.

[IndianaDP]

If this is autobiograph I’m glad you survived and are hopefully doing well. I had a heart attach about six years ago, but not a severe one, two stents made me feel great.

Nicely written, I like the idea of dying on paper. IMO, the poem would work well starting with S4 and cutting the first 3.

[Kenneth2816]

Thanks Dale. I'm going to break character and just ask.

Does it come though that N's wife
died by suicide?

[IndianaDP]

Well, I missed it in the first read, but can easily see it when going back. My ‘first thought is to condense the details surrounding the heart attach and expanding the suicide just a bit. The idea of contrasting the two events is compelling.

[Kenneth2816]

Thank you

[Billy]

I was a little confused. I guess I was from the beginning thinking it was a heart attack not a suicide, then it seems the heart attack was because of a suicide of the wife?

[Kenneth2816]

Suicide came after the heart attack when N was still in the hospital

[BobBradshaw]

Terrific poem, especially now I know the suicide angle...I didn’t pick that up either on my first read... boy, you’re mining gold these last 3 months...keep digging

Love this:

They stripped veins from one leg dangled them from a hemostat
like over boiled spaghetti,
grafted them in as if
splicing a break
in a radiator hose.

"You died on paper," they said,, meaning atrial fibrillation,
flat lined for a minute
as they fiddled with the
clamps, scissors, and retractors,

[IndianaDP]

Hmm, I was reading it as the suicide came first.

[Kenneth2816]

Well, I'm not tryna make a riddle, but admittedly, rough terrain.