Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 16 Oct 2018, 22:58

Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

Paul cupped my face in his hands
and swore he wouldn't let his life
be controlled by a boy.

I blushed. He stammered.

He promised to meet
Mama and me at the station.
If he wasn't there, leave
and he would quickly follow.
You won't stay behind?
I asked. You swear?
“Yes, yes,”

and he kissed me over and over.

The thought of that grubby boy Arthur
with his filthy pipe
disgusted me. Paul
must have been feeble
from drink and illness
to have given in
to such

but I couldn't think of it
any more. That was a country
whose borders
Paul would never cross again.
Soon my life as a young wife
would be mine
once more

but as Mama and I boarded the train,
with Paul nowhere in sight,
my stomach tumbled.
Mama squeezed my hand:

"He'll come later."

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

#2 Post by Billy » 18 Oct 2018, 02:25

You have a way of telling these stories with just the right amount of detail and with the perfect emphasis.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 18 Oct 2018, 06:48

Thanks, Billy....it's good to know the piece works...you're an honest reviewer...so your thoughts count a lot....best

IndianaDP
Posts: 181
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

#4 Post by IndianaDP » 19 Oct 2018, 18:00

Bob, as usual a well told and interesting story. I especially like how the title isn’t explained until the final stanza.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 20 Oct 2018, 07:55

Billy, Dale -- many thanks...glad you enjoyed it...Rimbaud and Verlaine's story is so compelling, and this is just one small bit of it

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

#6 Post by Michael (MV) » 21 Oct 2018, 19:26

Hi Bob,


"I blushed. He stammered."

^^ Thanks for dramatizing the when one finds the complementary lines have been complexed to a triangle.


Workshop consider as:

The face of that grubby boy Arthur
with his filthy pipe
disgusted me.


and as:

but as Mama and I boarded the train,
with my husband derailed
again nowhere in sight,
my stomach tumbled.
Mama squeezed my hand:


😎

Michael (MV)

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Verlaine's Young Wife Boards A Train

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 21 Oct 2018, 21:41

Thanks, Michael, for the ideas...I'll consider them

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