Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 1534
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 18 Nov 2018, 00:20

Nannerl on Wolfi's Tour through Italy


For audiences it was the wonder of it.
Wolfi, who could believe children
could play so beautifully,
five and eleven year olds
playing harpsichord and violin
as well as anyone?

We created a language
for our imaginary Kingdom of Back,
our words as mysterious
to adults as fireflies’ flashing signals.

It helped to pass the time
as Vienna, Augsburg, Versailles, Paris
rambled by our carriage.

And now that you and Papa
are on a glorious tour through Italy,
my days spent teaching piano lessons
to help pay for your trip--

Mama and me left behind
to spare expenses--I wonder, Wolfi,
what will happen to us?

You are watching fireworks over Vienna tonight
while Mama piles my hair in this dusky apartment.

The distance between your future and mine
is growing. I am like a firefly
at the other end of a meadow, your end lit

by the lights of Europe's finest rooms,
too bright for a firefly's notes
to reach her dear brother,
once ruler of the Kingdom
of Back

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 19 Nov 2018, 03:04

Nicely done especially with the firefly metaphor. I would change king and kingdom in last paragraph as redundant Maybe king/land or something

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1534
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 19 Nov 2018, 06:47

Thx, Ken, for the suggestion...will do

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1610
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 20 Nov 2018, 00:26

 
Hi Bob,

paracosm, the imaginary worlds of Angria & Gondal, and the genius of the Brontë children springs to mind, esp Emily & Branwell,
the artist & pentimento in this sibling canvas:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brontë_fa ... stored.jpg


workshop share as:

The distance between your future and mine
is widening. I am like a firefly
at one end of a meadow, your end lit


^^ possible for "firefly" not to appear 2x

it's not striking twice; yet maybe along the lines as:

by the lights of Europe's finest rooms,
too bright to strike twice
to reach the once brother-ruler
of the Kingdom
of Back


8)

Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 
 

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1534
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 22 Nov 2018, 06:27

Thx everyone for sharing! I appreciate it

IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Nannerl on Wolfi’s Tour Through Italy

#6 Post by IndianaDP » 26 Nov 2018, 17:52

I especially like, ‘mama piles my hair in this dusky apartment.’ The story flows well, I was also bothered some by the multiples of firefly. Great poem.

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