Baudelaire
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Baudelaire
v2:
Baudelaire
Loud cries of his creditors
warped the air as he dodged them
everyday just outside
his cheap hotel.
New loans
were harder to secure
than a kind review.
Weren’t horse droppings
in the streets more popular
than his poems?
Convicted of obscenity,
even his mother avoided him.
Disgust--
growing like his debts--
trailed him through Paris,
even into the Cathedral
of Saint-Loup,
where he collapsed, paralysis
following like a long winter.
His last year he lay in bed
as if on a frozen lake.
Language turned thick
like a swollen tongue,
the nurses and a few friends
gazing at him
with puzzled looks. Worse
his mind betrayed him,
hiding in fog, which
would never lift
completely
again
v1:
Baudelaire
Loud cries of his creditors
warped the air as he dodged them
everyday just outside
his cheap hotel.
New loans
were harder to secure
than a kind review.
Weren’t horse droppings
in the streets more popular
than his poems?
Convicted of obscenity,
even his mother avoided him.
Disgust--
growing like his debts--
trailed him through Paris,
contempt and hatred
vigilantes, stones
in their raised
hands
Baudelaire
Loud cries of his creditors
warped the air as he dodged them
everyday just outside
his cheap hotel.
New loans
were harder to secure
than a kind review.
Weren’t horse droppings
in the streets more popular
than his poems?
Convicted of obscenity,
even his mother avoided him.
Disgust--
growing like his debts--
trailed him through Paris,
even into the Cathedral
of Saint-Loup,
where he collapsed, paralysis
following like a long winter.
His last year he lay in bed
as if on a frozen lake.
Language turned thick
like a swollen tongue,
the nurses and a few friends
gazing at him
with puzzled looks. Worse
his mind betrayed him,
hiding in fog, which
would never lift
completely
again
v1:
Baudelaire
Loud cries of his creditors
warped the air as he dodged them
everyday just outside
his cheap hotel.
New loans
were harder to secure
than a kind review.
Weren’t horse droppings
in the streets more popular
than his poems?
Convicted of obscenity,
even his mother avoided him.
Disgust--
growing like his debts--
trailed him through Paris,
contempt and hatred
vigilantes, stones
in their raised
hands
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Baudelaire
Hi Bob
Maybe the last 4 lines not needed
Disgust
growing like his debts--
and malaise
trailing him tthrough the gutters of Paris
And perhaps this is just one of several poems re Baudelaire
I notice this bio poem is in 3rd person
Perhaps others as persona poem; like one when he discovers his literary kinship with Poe
Baudelaire - Poe's French twin
Michael (MV)
Maybe the last 4 lines not needed
Disgust
growing like his debts--
and malaise
trailing him tthrough the gutters of Paris
And perhaps this is just one of several poems re Baudelaire
I notice this bio poem is in 3rd person
Perhaps others as persona poem; like one when he discovers his literary kinship with Poe
Baudelaire - Poe's French twin
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Baudelaire
Thanks, Michael...I will keep your thoughts in mind...enjoy the holidays!
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Baudelaire
revised...let me know what you think...Bob
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Baudelaire
The last four lines can form a separate poem.
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Baudelaire
Hi Bob,
I like the revision, esp that miasmic finale
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Baudelaire
Thanks, Michael.....appreciate the feedback..Bob
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Baudelaire
Thx, Siva, for liking the closing