Baudelaire

[BobBradshaw]

v2:

Baudelaire


Loud cries of his creditors
warped the air as he dodged them

everyday just outside
his cheap hotel.

New loans
were harder to secure

than a kind review.
Weren’t horse droppings

in the streets more popular
than his poems?

Convicted of obscenity,
even his mother avoided him.

Disgust--
growing like his debts--

trailed him through Paris,
even into the Cathedral

of Saint-Loup,
where he collapsed, paralysis

following like a long winter.
His last year he lay in bed

as if on a frozen lake.
Language turned thick

like a swollen tongue,
the nurses and a few friends

gazing at him
with puzzled looks. Worse

his mind betrayed him,
hiding in fog, which

would never lift
completely
again



v1:

Baudelaire


Loud cries of his creditors
warped the air as he dodged them

everyday just outside
his cheap hotel.

New loans
were harder to secure

than a kind review.
Weren’t horse droppings

in the streets more popular
than his poems?

Convicted of obscenity,
even his mother avoided him.

Disgust--
growing like his debts--

trailed him through Paris,
contempt and hatred

vigilantes, stones
in their raised
hands

[Michael (MV)]

Hi Bob

Maybe the last 4 lines not needed

Disgust
growing like his debts--

and malaise
trailing him tthrough the gutters of Paris


And perhaps this is just one of several poems re Baudelaire

I notice this bio poem is in 3rd person
Perhaps others as persona poem; like one when he discovers his literary kinship with Poe

Baudelaire - Poe's French twin



Michael (MV)

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, Michael...I will keep your thoughts in mind...enjoy the holidays!

[BobBradshaw]

revised...let me know what you think...Bob

[SivaRamanathan]

The last four lines can form a separate poem.

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi Bob,

I like the revision, esp that miasmic finale




Michael (MV)

revised...let me know what you think...Bob

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, Michael.....appreciate the feedback..Bob

[BobBradshaw]

Thx, Siva, for liking the closing