Mozart’s Sister, Heartbroken - revised

[BobBradshaw]

Mozart’s Sister, Heartbroken

Franz,
I have taken to my room, ill,
with an unimaginable headache.
Papa refuses to give us his consent...

I send you a thousand kisses.
I will always remember
my heart as a boat we shared,
how love's deep currents
stirred from unfathomable
depths.

I will one day forgive Papa,
but how can I understand
his selfishness?

Didn’t he marry who he loved?
Weren't Mama and Papa always
in each other's arms,
like flowering trees
grown so close to each other
their limbs embraced?


v2:
Mozart’s Sister, Heartbroken

Franz,
I have taken to my room, ill,
with an unimaginable headache.

Papa refuses to give us his consent...
how can he be so selfish?

Didn’t he marry who he loved?
Weren't Mama and Papa always
in each other's arms,
like flowering trees
grown so close to each other
their limbs embraced?

Darling, I send you a thousand kisses.
I will always remember
when my heart was a boat we shared,
love's deep springs
stirring from unfathomable
depths.


V1:
Oh Franz, my precious captain,


Papa has dismissed you
but didn't he marry who he loved?

Weren't Mama and Papa always
in each other's arms,
like flowering trees
grown so close to each other
their limbs embraced?

Franz, I have taken to my room ill,
my heart capsized.

Darling, I send you a thousand kisses.
I will always remember
when my heart was a boat we shared,
love's deep springs
stirring from unfathomable
depths.

[BobBradshaw]

A revised version, with title change

[Kenneth2816]

Thought I'd seen it. Nice. Look forward to seeing all these in a collection, Bob

[FranktheFrank]

Title change removes some doubt about the main character.

[capricorn]

This poem takes my breath away - it's beautiful! the title change has made it clearer. Love these lines

Weren't Mama and Papa always
in each other's arms,
like flowering trees
grown so close to each other
their limbs embraced?

Eira

[BobBradshaw]

I have revised this poem, moving around stanzas to end on its best one. Please let me know what you think. I know you have read this poem a number of times...I appreciate it. Bob

[capricorn]

Oh yes! My favourite stanza at the end. Well its a thumbs up from me! Hope others agree.

Eira

[BobBradshaw]

Thank you, Eira