Dorothy and William

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 1175
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Dorothy and William

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 09 Apr 2019, 00:39

Dorothy and William

I.
There was only darkness to sit with her.
The moon too had turned her back
on Dorothy. William was off

to see Mary Hutchinson, to propose.
William, her beloved, her darling
had sworn nothing would change

between them after the wedding,
all three of them living together.
How could that be?

Would she be shunted aside,
like an unwanted relative?
Her chest ached, tightening

like a strap across an over packed trunk.
How would she ever forget
being pushed out to live with an "aunt"

after her mother died, and Dorothy
but six years old, her four brothers
left behind with their father?

II.
She tried not to think of the future
crowding her out of her beloved Dove Cottage
and William’s life. How much longer

would he lean his head on her shoulder
as she read gently aloud, soothing
his headache, his tiredness?

When the night filled with moans
from William’s bedroom, how would she face
her sister-in-law the next morning?

Doubts of her own self worth rose
again and again, despair
a swarming darkness, overwhelming her.

What was Dorothy to become,
her heart emptied, forgotten
like an abandoned hive?

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1502
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Dorothy and William

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 12 Apr 2019, 00:09

 
Hi Bob,


Whereas the others are usually 1st person/persona-poem, this one reads well, reads right as 3rd person narrative.


Her later living arrangement mimics her earlier; the earlier is a harbinger for later in the future - the 2 part format reflects this -

could consider a horizontal - left-right - layout -

like in a book - page 8 (1.) on the left           9 (2.) on the right


workshop-share -

"like a strap across an over packed trunk.
How would she ever forget
being pushed out to live with an "aunt"

after her mother died, and Dorothy
but six years old, her four brothers
left behind with their father?"

^^ recast as -

like a strap across an over packed trunk.
Six years old, but how could Dorothy
ever forget after her mother died

being pushed out to live with an "aunt,
while her four brothers where left
behind with their father?

  
 
8)

Michael (MV)

 

 

 
 
 

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1175
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Dorothy and William

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 14 Apr 2019, 00:53

Thanks, Michael

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