The Path I Traverse

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
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meenas17
Posts: 639
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

The Path I Traverse

#1 Post by meenas17 » 14 May 2019, 15:12

In my school days
I stuck to reading
unmindful of science
and mathematics.

Had I mastered those
would have made
money astronomical.
I read, write, turn lyrical.

While my friends
turn professionals
I do business
and down I go.

Books,trading
and family pull
the threads along the folds
I succumb and survive.

None wish to follow
as they know
the path I traverse
will bring a reverse.
meenas17

capricorn
Posts: 285
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: The Path I Traverse

#2 Post by capricorn » 17 May 2019, 16:05

An interesting poem, Meena, making me aware that everyone is different. I Love this description - especially L3.

Books,trading
and family pull
the threads along the folds
I succumb and survive.

Eira

meenas17
Posts: 639
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: The Path I Traverse

#3 Post by meenas17 » 17 May 2019, 16:18

Thanks, Eira.
Happy that you find the poem interesting.
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1279
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: The Path I Traverse

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 17 May 2019, 19:59

Good one.... my only criticism is that the last line is a bit awkward

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