Bukowski Speaks in Voices of the Dead

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Bukowski Speaks in Voices of the Dead

#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 22 May 2019, 12:35

Buk Speaks in Voices of the Dead
1.
I live off scraps, Dog’s lick my sores, but I can’t worry
about that I’m moving on soon I can feel it in my bones.
This place is better I can sit here in the sun, soak
up the warmth. I eat well here and am at peace,
but there is this other guy who makes so much noise
from below. It’s disturbing, he’s crying out for a drop
of water. The heat is getting to the guy, he’s begging
for help, but he’s told straight out, ‘You’ve had the best
of times, this is how it is now, no use complaining.’
2.
So Mary is back, full of joy whereas she was moaning
last night, she’s met a guy, there’s always a guy with her.
But the change is for the better, he’s a teacher, El Fundi,
an expert, but an expert in what I ask. She spent three years
work on one bottle of perfume, spent it on this guy, said
He was worth it. He made her cry, well most of the men
in her life made her cry, but this guy is different she wants
to follow him to the ends of the world, that’s all she needs
is an itinerant teacher, huh!. She was always into men, says
they smell different, well I’m not into sniffing men if you
get my drift, not my scene, no sir. She says she felt dirty
before and now she’s clean, a new woman, new start,
an end to the old way of life, a freshness she never
had before.
3.
I’m just gonna close my eyes, I’m so tired, been ill lately.
Nothing can be done. It’s like a dream, I smell of precious
balm, but there’s this stink nearby, it’s not me, but it sure is
revoltingly rotten. Otherwise it’s peaceful here and I can see
far off. Beautiful people, their hair shining like gold in the sun.
They are so happy, waving to me, calling me on, gambolling
like lambs. But there’s this other voice, loud as brass calling
me from nearby, I don’t want to wake up, I’m settled here.
It’s dark but I can see out, those in the sun are drifting away now,
I miss them already. The voice jolts me out of my rest. I stand up
and walk out to them. Crowds surround me, people stare, mouths
open, they fear me, of me! Me who is known to be the kindest
of men, a man who is so tender who cries if a child is spoken
to harshly. Why do they fear me so. El Fundi is here, why am I
wrapped in bandages, what is happening to me, I want to go back
there is trouble here, nothing but bad will occur, I will be hunted
down for the rest of my days, they want me back with the dead.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Bukowski Speaks with the Voices of the Dead

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 22 May 2019, 17:27

Hi Frank,

Or perhaps The Buk would say
If they have voice they ain't dead. Then MV says Amen Brothers & Sisters

That's not to say your poem isn't alive - the poem is lively with voice & emotion, and is a visceral vision.

The Buk's dante poem as written by Frank in the medium of persona-poem- perhaps every poet eventually writes a dantean poem.

Frank, check the poem for typo/grammatical.


Your dantean buk poem recalls to this spoken/sung lyric that I haven't experienced for too long. I clearly remember the evening I turned in and it was streaming, because I needed to hear it/know of it:

https://youtu.be/NQWD-Hz5YuQ


😎

Michael (MV)

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Bukowski Speaks with the Voices of the Dead

#3 Post by FranktheFrank » 22 May 2019, 20:23

Thanks Michael

Found a few errant commas.

Enjoyed the harmonics, spot on. :)

Post Reply