The checks, scans,
immigration and thumb
impressions, the wait and walk
at the airports turn me
insane.
The luggage is examined
in three centres. Queuing, I
endure the formalities with
disenchanted cheer.
My laptop is skimmed
naked, as if it is dreadfully ill.
Documents, mails, and photos
remain no longer private.
The objective test completed
I become the subject. A lady officer
passes the wand along my sides.
to a squeaky noise.
The second examination
is performed. This time
the beep shouts loud. She
becomes panicky.
She talks to herself.
What could this woman have? Mostly
narcotics hidden or gold masqueraded
between her sari folds.
She cries out to her senior.
Enter a burly woman with thick
who gives a strong push,
I stagger to the corner.
Holds me in her hefty
arms. She looks into my eyes,
trying to discover the ploy
thinks I am a smuggler.
She bids me to remove
the bangles, and chain.
She thinks of the reward
she would be entitled to
The tool circulates
with a spin. This time falls
quiet. Takes a step back,
smiles awkward, whisks away.
I am free to go.Condescend
a benign smile, Wish to say
better luck next time
refrain with an effort.
The aircraft is ready to board.
Go through the jet bridge.
after wearing the bangles
and chain. They being real gold
>
The Smuggling Experience
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: The Smuggling Experience
This is good... The 2nd stanza can be cut; it slows us down from getting to the good stuff. You have a typo, I believe, missing the noun after “thick”.
You can trim a bit... here is one place:
She
becomes panicky.
She talks to herself.
Change to:
She panics,
talks to herself.
These are small suggestions.. I enjoyed this poem immensely. Tweak it a bit and send it somewhere... it captures the experience beautifully
You can trim a bit... here is one place:
She
becomes panicky.
She talks to herself.
Change to:
She panics,
talks to herself.
These are small suggestions.. I enjoyed this poem immensely. Tweak it a bit and send it somewhere... it captures the experience beautifully
-
- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: The Smuggling Experience
Yes this is very well done. I particularly enjoyed the irony that the narrator may in fact be smuggling gold under their noses. I'm going to nominate this for IBPC
Re: The Smuggling Experience
Wow Meena! This had me sitting on the edge of my chair from beginning to end - and what a fantastic end. Most Unexpected. I really enjoyed this.
Eira
Eira