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The Problem With Two Cats

Posted: 03 Jun 2019, 11:42
by Kenneth2816
There is nothing worse than
two cats you can't tell apart
except when they're in the bed
on either side of you yeowling
because you drank tequila again
at 10 am, slept through feeding time,
and they're not fucking having it.

One mock-bites, the other licks.
You turn an eye one to another,
trying to orient yourself,
and they're so damn arrogant ,
don't care you've been off meds
depressed AF, they still expect
punctuality and a clean litter box

Nevermind you lose things four
times in the same room,half
the time not knowing what day
it is without looking, afraid
to answer the phone, you should
have learned by now which
is the mean one, the shit-flicker,

destroyer of sofas, the book
chewer with the too -rough tongue who
who makes you chase him from
under the bed with a broom
when what you really want is to sweep
this life out the door and get a new one
because really, you've always been a dog kinda guy.

Re: The Problem With Two Cats

Posted: 03 Jun 2019, 23:03
by BobBradshaw
This is hilarious.... love the narrator’s voice... stellar from top to bottom

Re: The Problem With Two Cats

Posted: 04 Jun 2019, 06:49
by meenas17
I can relate. as I experience the same way, driving them with a broom. I have to take an extra care to keep the windows and doors of my kitchen shut as they would creep in and drink the milk to the last drop.

Re: The Problem With Two Cats

Posted: 05 Jun 2019, 23:40
by Kenneth2816
Bob. Meenas

Thank you