Big Band Theory

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1178
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Big Band Theory

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 07 Jun 2019, 16:38

A finger huge as God stabs
the air, Cab Galloway kicks
it all off with "Hi De Ho Man".

Cops don't come 'round here.
The color of blood is black
under moonlight, pungent

odor of reefer mingles with
Pomade; the first building
blocks of the Cotton Club.

Seventeen horns and a rhythm
section, Lena Horne could
almost pass when back-lit.

Lenox and 142nd Street is
the center of the known world,
gangsters and movie stars,

knife fights and drum duels.
When I look into your eyes,
new worlds collide, we glide

effortlessly across the floor.
Before us, there was nothing
but woodwinds and bassoons.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1385
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Big Band Theory

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 07 Jun 2019, 20:08

I like this, the reefer odor mixing with the Pomade, and especially the last stanza. My first thought when reading this was that it was a bit too generic, and maybe it is. But it is good. A keeper. What I would also like to see is a second poem that zooms in, immerses me in a specific moment. Instead of "gangsters and movie stars", details.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1012
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Big Band Theory

#3 Post by SivaRamanathan » 08 Jun 2019, 05:49

I read this but I am afraid I have to wait for a couple of more comments to get the hang of it.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1178
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Big Band Theory

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 09 Jun 2019, 10:02

Bob. I thought about more detail before I wrote it. I had hoped the metaphor would carry the poem. Thank you.

Siva. Thanks for reading and commenting

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1385
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Big Band Theory

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 09 Jun 2019, 19:44

It’s a good poem, Ken. Just not as powerful as some of your gems.... your bar is set so high

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1178
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Big Band Theory

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 10 Jun 2019, 10:28

OK. Thank you.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1012
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Big Band Theory

#7 Post by SivaRamanathan » 10 Jun 2019, 11:38

When I look into your eyes,
new worlds collide, we glide
effortlessly across the floor.

Before us, there was nothing
but woodwinds and bassoons.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1178
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Big Band Theory

#8 Post by Kenneth2816 » 11 Jun 2019, 08:19

Thank you Siva

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