Ten Thousand Ways to Die by Water

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Ten Thousand Ways to Die by Water

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 26 Jul 2019, 17:57

Before anyone could know, you
were a kidney bean suspended
in a soup of embryonic fluid
tethered by a suckery tentacle.

At twelve, grandma and grandpa
where there to watch you go under.
The Reverend told you
to pinch your nose and lean back.
The hem of his garment billowed
like an electric jellyfish.

They say you knocked a radio in the tub.
The whole neighborhood went
dark, and me dreaming I had
to piss never made it; the cold wet spot
in the grey of morning.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2688
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Ten Thousand Ways to Die by Water

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 27 Jul 2019, 22:51

Good poem....especially liked the second stanza

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Ten Thousand Ways to Die by Water

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 28 Jul 2019, 23:53

Thanks Bob

Post Reply