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Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 17 Oct 2019, 16:17
by Kenneth2816
Driving back from the beach,
my new lover has her shoes off,
feet on the dash,seat back so
there's no other path the seatbelt
can take except right between
her breasts and it's distracting.
She catches me looking and says
"One's bigger than the other you know",
laughs and watches my face for
a reaction .I don't give one. She
leans close and tells me she has
names for them and I crack up.
"Well you'll have to introduce me "
I say and she mock punches
me on the shoulder and says "stop it."
The sign says Welcome to the Palmetto State.

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 18 Oct 2019, 01:47
by BobBradshaw
A good, solid poem... the last line makes it zing

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 18 Oct 2019, 11:37
by Kenneth2816
Thanks Bob

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 22 Oct 2019, 03:13
by Billy
Good poem, reminds of my younger days. And brought to mind Faulkner's novel, "The Wild Palms" for some reason.

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 22 Oct 2019, 04:01
by Kenneth2816
Thanks Billy

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 03 Nov 2019, 17:22
by judyt547
I know this is old news by now, but in rereading it, I think I'd be inclinded to change "my new lover" to 'she" and let the reader discover her by the convo in the rest of the poem. Either way, I like it. The language is spot on.

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 03 Nov 2019, 19:44
by meenas17
Quiet distracting .

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 03 Nov 2019, 23:41
by Michael (MV)
Hi kennerh,

prelude as foreplay while crossing

enjoyed the youthful ride along

😎

Michael (MV)

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

Posted: 04 Nov 2019, 00:43
by Kenneth2816
Thanks Meenas, Michael