New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

How Far The River

I hear it. A blues
song for all the leaving
anyone can stand.

The current a stubborn
child. No conscience
to hold it back. Driven

to arrive. Bumping into
fear, fish in the depths
never see the light.

The water muddy.
A whirlpool of illusions.
Banks lifted high as skirts.

Did you mean conscience instead of conscious? If not the line is confusing. Really like the last image of banks lifted high as skirts.

Hey, thanks Bob that was a slip of the unconscious. I'll change it.

Great title. ..all the leaving anyone can stand.

Thanks Kenneth

just a few thoughts, none of them anything more than personal taste--have you tried this with less punctuation?
sometimes a poem like this can run on line breaks, trusting the reader to make his own stops.

i.e.
the water muddy
a whirlpool of illusions
banks lifted high as skirts

no matter how you slice it, this is a marvelous poem.

Thanks Judy, sometimes I write with punctuation just because and realize later the poem doesn’t call for it.