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The Wild Palms

Posted: 22 Oct 2019, 05:05
by Billy
The Wild Palms*

Yes, yes, the wind, the wind!
Blow me down again, again.
The water's rising, the banks

are overflowing. Hallelujah!
I say it as a sinner, God, it's
the best I can do. How many

times. Too many to count.
You've numbered them all
like feathers of the least

little ones. I miss the sword
when I've been too good.
Like a battered wife, there's

a sting that feels like love.
It's better than this boredom.



* title of William Faulkner's novel

Re: The Wild Palms

Posted: 22 Oct 2019, 13:43
by Kenneth2816
The Lord wounds, but also binds up. I like the frank tone.

Re: The Wild Palms

Posted: 23 Oct 2019, 18:57
by Billy
The poem is playing with one of the ideas in the novel.

Thanks Kenneth

Re: The Wild Palms

Posted: 23 Oct 2019, 18:58
by Billy
The poem is playing with one of the ideas in the novel.
Hopefully the reader doesn’t have to know what that is.
Thanks Kenneth

Re: The Wild Palms

Posted: 23 Oct 2019, 18:58
by Billy
Sorry, double post

Re: The Wild Palms

Posted: 26 Oct 2019, 15:46
by judyt547
I like this. No, I've never read much of Faulkner, but neither am i consumed
with a need to know what you're not telling us. =) I like this the way it is,
dark and slightly turbulent,
I think I'd try to eliminate one of the sets of repetition in the first stanza, possibly
the double "again". Keep it down to one. And where you have
"How many times. Too many to count." might work as well with a comma
or semicolon instead of two choppy sentences. 'how many times; too many to count."

Re: The Wild Palms

Posted: 26 Oct 2019, 20:34
by BobBradshaw
I like the world weary tone and ending. And I like these lines especially....feathers of the least little ones...is there a reference here? I don't know it.

The water's rising, the banks

are overflowing. Hallelujah!

Re: The Wild Palms

Posted: 28 Oct 2019, 21:49
by Billy
thanks Judy, i’ll Use your suggestion.

Bob, I’ve put two ideas together from Bible. God knows the number of feathers on a sparrow and little ones refers to Jesus talking about children.