Neighbors

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judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
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Neighbors

#1 Post by judyt547 » 22 Oct 2019, 19:39

Neighbors

Your windows face mine across the street
I see your curtains open in the morning
when I open mine to let the light in
and on good summer days our windows
lie open all day to catch the air

In the afternoon sometimes I see you
walking home from work
and know what kind of day its been
from the way you hold your shoulders
and take each step

At night before bed
I check the front door;
when I see your porch light on
it's like a nightlight
or a familiar hand
guiding my steps once more
up the stairs down the hall
to that narrow room
alone

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Neighbors

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 22 Oct 2019, 20:00

I like the voyeuristic feel, how the neighbors never meet but are bound. At least on the part of N.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1559
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Neighbors

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 22 Oct 2019, 20:38

Oh this is sweet, its warmth enveloping me....I love this...my favorite of yours so far.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Neighbors

#4 Post by SivaRamanathan » 22 Oct 2019, 20:55

Judy
These poems seem to be gathering in a sequence. There were a couple of poems earlier which also sounded like this one. Maybe you could do a Chap Book of poems with some mystery in it. Fictional.

S

judyt547
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Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
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Re: Neighbors

#5 Post by judyt547 » 22 Oct 2019, 22:25

I think chapbooks are wonderful, but it also takes a huge amount of creative energy to get one together. Maybe this winter, i''ll give it another go. Just nag me, okay...=) (Siva, no poem is truly fictional, there's always (at least for me) a bit of my own marrow and skin in it)

Glad you like it, Bob, Ken. I do wonder, sometimes, why she doesn't just say to hell with it, and bring him cookies? Make him a pie...invite him in for coffee...

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Neighbors

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 23 Oct 2019, 00:13

Just know that we appreciate you being here and the generosity of your crits, Judy

judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
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Re: Neighbors

#7 Post by judyt547 » 23 Oct 2019, 05:40

aww. thanks. It's been years since I've done anything with this stuff,
and while I'm not writing much now, I can still appreciate what other people do.
And enjoying the tango doesn't go away just because you can't dance anymore,
does it. Nor should it.

meenas17
Posts: 694
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Neighbors

#8 Post by meenas17 » 23 Oct 2019, 19:22

Judy, welcome to the board.
Your entry has brought a stream of poems.
The Board is bustling with activity.
I agree with you, Judy,
No poem is fictional.
The best of the poems bear at least a trace of personal info or experience.
meenas17

FranktheFrank
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Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Neighbors

#9 Post by FranktheFrank » 23 Oct 2019, 22:50

I like the concept.
I think the nightmare line is a bit strong,
something else, regret, wanting to make a move, but afraid.
Your neighbour poem has sparked off mine.

It's hard for old people to date like youngsters
but reading the papers they seem to be very busy
or you might say promiscuous.

Well you are writing well now, enjoy it,
don't get burned up.

judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
Contact:

Re: Neighbors

#10 Post by judyt547 » 24 Oct 2019, 05:49

Thanks, Frank. These are old(er) poems, but they've never been through the revision wringer
and there is no way to know outside of my own spidey-sense about them, if they work or not.

I'm pacing myself, yes, and thank you for the reminder. I like to see a busy board, it means
things are churning, and that's very cool.

Someone once said, his theory of writing meant you wrote them ALL down as they appeared,
good and awful, like beads on a string. You had to get past the awful to get to the good, and it
does seem to make a kind of sense. And some of my best poems came after the worst.

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