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Postcard (revision of title and some tightening up)

Postcard

Dolphin towels merge with swimwear
tumbling to the washer’s rhythm,

a plastic bucketful of kelp
for grandma’s aches, vibrates.

At the grill, the aroma of fish
I drift …

We explore, zig-zag dunes,
sand scratching between toes

until treasures spill over from
a Disney Mouse pail.

Rockpools soothe our weary feet
as tiddlers’ fins tickle, we giggle.

Children’s whoops drown the ocean’s
gentle sloshing, seagulls skwark

swooping at our ices.
We join the lines of pasty bodies,

reclining, basted ready to roast.
A whiff of plaice from the barbecue

I jolt back …
to whispered secrets,

shell collages and painted pebble
paper weights for Christmas presents.

The smell of fish fingers burning,
‘Quick, wash hands, tea’s ready kids!’


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Escape from routine

Rhythmically humming, the washer tumbles
dolphin towels with multicoloured swimwear.

On top, a plastic pail of gulfweed gathered
for grandma’s aching feet.

We zig-zag dunes, exploring,
sand scratching between toes;

shells and pebbles collected
in a Mickey Mouse bucket.

Swollen feet cool on kelp carpets;
we giggle as tiddler’s fins tickle toes.

The ocean’s gentle sloshing is covered by
children’s shouts and seagulls screeching.

After bobbing in the waves, we join pasty
bodies reclining, basted ready to roast.

From the nearby barbecue, wafts
of fresh plaice, spices the salty air.

… I float back to children’s whispers,
making shell pictures for grandparents,

pebble paper weights are painted
for friend’s Christmas presents.

I smell fish fingers - almost burning!
Tea’s ready, kids.”

A pleasant slice of life

You're using alliteration more and more....but here you capture the sensation of giggling with alliteration and assonance. Is it too much or just delightful? I think it's great

we giggle as tiddler’s fins tickle toes

BobBradshaw wrote: ↑

11 Dec 2019, 23:57

You're using alliteration more and more....but here you capture the sensation of giggling with alliteration and assonance. Is it too much or just delightful? I think it's great

we giggle as tiddler’s fins tickle toes

Thanks Bob, I sometimes wonder if I go too far with alliteration, but I do love using it. Glad it worked for you.
Eira

Eira, your poem is nominated for the IBPC. Can you post it? Thx

Thanks Bob!

Although this poem seems ok, I just felt like looking at it again.
Eira

Yes, lots of sounds in this.

Very enjoyable. I wish postcards were as lovely as this one.

Thanks Frank & Bob - it's good to be back
eira