The Latent Heat of Milk

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1096
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

The Latent Heat of Milk

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 26 Jan 2020, 22:07

Latent Heat of Milk

Dad insisted on drinking steaming coffee
there was no surprise in it;
like his mother.

Grandamma ate half a dosai
her husband the other half
lest it turn cold.

The same with omlette
double fry, heat transferred from the pan
into his mouth.

‘You never can make it like my son,' Dad said.
You ought to immerse the decoction,
and let it boil inside water. Make the milk rise,
and raise the saucepan high before you pour.’’

‘This is exactly how I do it,’ I tell my brother
and he winks at me. The trick is to add
a little water to the milk, for the latent heat
of water is higher than that of milk.

My grandmother, used to hold her cup
with the loose end of her sari
her fingers could not take in the same heat
as her tongue.

And now I take up the tradition,
after me my niece.

S

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He insisted on drinking steaming coffee
there was no surprise in it

like his mother. She ate half a dosai
her husband the other half.
lest it turn cold. The same with omlette
double fry, heat transferred from the pan
into his mouth.

All this about Dad.

'You never can make it like my son,' he said.
You ought to immerse the decoction
and let it boil inside water, make the milk rise
and raise the saucepan high before you pour.

This is exactly how I do it, I tell my brother
and he winks at me. The trick is to add
a little water to the milk, for the latent heat
of water is higher than the milk.

My grandmother, used to hold her cup
with the loose end of her sari
her fingers could not take in the same heat
as her tongue.

And now I take up the tradition.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1495
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: The Latent Heat of Milk

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 27 Jan 2020, 21:53

Take out "All this about Dad"....not needed ...indicate Dad in another line, like the next one....like my son, Dad said.
There are punctuation issues like "lest it turn cold. "

I like the way you have simplified the recipe here....I have to go, but I'll get back to this poem later. But think about making this recipe a metaphor for something....if "tradition", and its importance, make me feel more intent about it....let the love for family be expressed by this sharing of a meal. Just a phrase or two might do it. You're close. Anyway, I'm thinking out loud....I'll check in later

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1096
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: The Latent Heat of Milk

#3 Post by SivaRamanathan » 28 Jan 2020, 13:10

Bob

Thank you. Seen and will work on it.

S

Post Reply

Return to “Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang”