Outer Banks in Autumn
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Outer Banks in Autumn
The light this evening on Pamlico,
by proxy of a socialist moon, makes
the red drum run in dizzying schools.
Crab men trick their culling sticks,
fill pots with mounds of chicken
neck, pull from a bottle and wait.
The screwpile lighthouse at Bluff Shoals
keeps watch with its one good eye
for the daily mail boat from Ocracoke.
Nothing has changed here in a century.
The same derelict wrecks on the bottom,
the same dialectical wheel of gulls.
Depression runs in my family line.
I come here alone, no knot of tourists,
to drown in history and Scotch whiskey.
by proxy of a socialist moon, makes
the red drum run in dizzying schools.
Crab men trick their culling sticks,
fill pots with mounds of chicken
neck, pull from a bottle and wait.
The screwpile lighthouse at Bluff Shoals
keeps watch with its one good eye
for the daily mail boat from Ocracoke.
Nothing has changed here in a century.
The same derelict wrecks on the bottom,
the same dialectical wheel of gulls.
Depression runs in my family line.
I come here alone, no knot of tourists,
to drown in history and Scotch whiskey.
Re: Outer Banks in Autumn
Really like “dialectical wheel of gulls”.
All great images that work well with the end.
All great images that work well with the end.
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Outer Banks in Autumn
Thanks. Coming off a dry patch. Hard to be inspired.
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- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Outer Banks in Autumn
Good piece. So good to have you back, and to read your work.
Love these 3 lines especially:
Nothing has changed here in a century.
The same derelict wrecks on the bottom,
the same dialectical wheel of gulls.
Love these 3 lines especially:
Nothing has changed here in a century.
The same derelict wrecks on the bottom,
the same dialectical wheel of gulls.
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- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Outer Banks in Autumn
Hi Ken,
and Welcome back to the workshop.
All I see to recommend is a typo fix -
"keeps watch with it's one good eye"
^^ it's should be its -
keeps watch with its one good eye
Esp like:
"by proxy of a socialist moon"
I hear(and see) a unique phrasing of
"by the light of the moon"
and the moon is socialistic without a political platform or agenda -
a socialist moon
for all
seasons
And now I see a possible need, also, for a comma after Pamlico:
The light this evening on Pamlico,
by proxy of a socialist moon, makes
the red drum run in dizzying schools.
the light of the moon is the light of the sun
Michael (MV)
and Welcome back to the workshop.
All I see to recommend is a typo fix -
"keeps watch with it's one good eye"
^^ it's should be its -
keeps watch with its one good eye
Esp like:
"by proxy of a socialist moon"
I hear(and see) a unique phrasing of
"by the light of the moon"
and the moon is socialistic without a political platform or agenda -
a socialist moon
for all
seasons
And now I see a possible need, also, for a comma after Pamlico:
The light this evening on Pamlico,
by proxy of a socialist moon, makes
the red drum run in dizzying schools.
the light of the moon is the light of the sun
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Outer Banks in Autumn
Thanks Bob.
Good ear Michael. I'll fix the typo and punctuation.
Good ear Michael. I'll fix the typo and punctuation.
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- Posts: 127
- Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11
Re: Outer Banks in Autumn
Ken I am able to relate to the music of the poem.
Siva
Siva