Sipping Tea at the Fairmont

[BobBradshaw]

v2:
Sipping Tea at the Fairmont


I tried too hard, like a bellman
craving tips.

I’d have carried her bags
up ninety floors
in sweltering heat
without her even asking.

She sat me down at the Fairmont
and over iced tea asked
"How can I meet someone new
if we don't break up?"

I could have been drinking gin
spiked with anesthesia.
I stared back through horn rim glasses,
speechless.

Loyal as an Alaskan husky,
here I was with love racing away
on skates,

and me left to pay the tab.


v1:
Sipping Tea at the Fairmont


I tried too hard, like a bellman
crazy for tips.

I’d have carried her bags
up ninety floors
in sweltering heat
if she’d asked.

She sat me down at the Fairmont
and over iced tea calmly informed me
we had to break up
so she could meet someone new.

I could have been drinking gin
spiked with anesthesia.
I stared back through horn rim glasses,
speechless.

Loyal as an Alaskan husky,
here I was with love racing away
on skates,

and me left to pay the tab.


note: an old poem revised

[Billy]

Bob, I like your love gone awry poems. Very relatable scene and N and unrequited love. I think you can crank this one up a bit. It's not done, I think.

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, Billy

[Billy]

Actually, after reading it again, I like the poem as is very much. It works well.

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, Billy... appreciate the rereading

[Michael (MV)]

Hi Bob,


Thanks for the read. I hear Woody Allen narrating, and hence the prompt to my workshop share
Michael (MV)


"Tea at the Fairmont"

I tried too hard, like a bellhop
craving tips.

I’d have carried her bags
up ninety floors
in sweltering heat
without her even asking.

She sat me down at the Fairmont
and over iced tea:
"How can I meet someone new
if we don't break up?"

or

She sat me down at the Fairmont
and over iced tea:
"I have to break up with you
so I can meet someone new?"


Might as well been drinking gin
spiked with anesthesia,
I stared back through horn rim
glasses, speechless.

Loyal as an Alaskan husky,
and here I had been in love
with a Greyhound
racing away, leaving me

to pay the tab.

or

Loyal as an Alaskan husky,
and here I had been
with a Greyhound
racing away, leaving me
still in love

to pay the tab.

[BobBradshaw]

I like your workshopping! I will adjust with your suggestions! Thank you

[BobBradshaw]

Thx, Michael. I have applied your tips.