Emma

[BobBradshaw]

Emma


Their ardor was a cold furnace.
So Emma abandoned Tom's bed,
moved to the attic,
loneliness as accepted as winter snow.
At her age it wasn't possible
to still be shaped
by someone’s touch--
to take in an ardent lover
the way heated glass opens up
to a glassblower’s breath.

[FranktheFrank]

Is the oxymoron intentional in L1, Bob? possibly for effect.
Maybe:

Tom's ardour had cooled
like the dying embers of a furnace
Emma moved to sleep in the attic bed
Cold up there but acceptable
pure like winter snow

Good to see you still posting Bob when most seem to have drifted away.
I invite people poets to join but no takers so far

[Billy]

Nice poem. Brevity works for the poem. I don’t see that as an oxymoron. Anyway I got the impression they had both lost the fire. If you say Tom then it’s one-sided which maybe that’s what you want. Just my 2 cents.

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, guys. Your revision is lovely, Ieuan….I like that snow image… something to think about incorporating

Billy, you’re right… they lost their fire for each other though Tom’s was rekindled for someone else….