Wish You Were Here

[Billy]

Wish You Were Here

Clouds obscure the sun
this winter morning.
Bright days to come.

I learned my lesson.
Age and honesty
will do that,
hope it's not too late.
I'm counting on spring.

Hope is green,
and that lone, bedraggled
sparrow on a barren limb
chirping his heart out
for anyone to hear.

[BobBradshaw]

Good ending. Well done, efficient poem. Reminds me of Emily’s hope is a feathered thing. But any line with hope and bird would inevitably invoke Emily.

[Billy]

Thanks, Bob, I was invoking Emily consciously.

[BobBradshaw]

It’s a good image.

[FranktheFrank]

Hope is green,
and that lone, bedraggled
sparrow on a barren limb
chirping his heart out
for anyone to hear.

And that bedraggled sparrow . . . is what

Starting a declarative sentence and that Bedraggled sparrow . . . then a description of what said sparrow is doing i.e. he is chirping
and we wait for the completion of the declarative part and that [description of sparrow] what about the sparrow.

and that sparrow [ do you mean it is also green]

or is it

Hope is green and that, lone bedraggled sparrow perched on a barren limb, is chirping his heart out for anyone to here.

Does this help or am I too fussy.

[Billy]

Thanks, Frank, but I like it the way it is.

[FranktheFrank]

OK
Bernie used to give volumes of replies, insightful and informative
and one forum complained all the time his replies were too long
as if it cost them more for a long reply compared to a short reply
and I thought poor man, he's dying and he's doing his best.

Marvellous poet, just saying.

[Billy]

Yeah, miss Bernie, he was one of a kind, a great poet and critic.