International Astronomical Union - Language to Inflame Politically Sensitive - Hand Wringers - Woke

[FranktheFrank]

Parody
Censored by the Society for the Preservation of Alien Species - Beware Language likely to Inflame the Politically Sensitive - Hand Wringers and Woke Brigade

'There weren't women on the planet,
and we weren't obliged to play mothers'
Bob Bradshaw, Women Astronauts Leave a Dying Planet, Nov 15, 2019, The Beach -The Watery Poetry Forum

The news came in via plain old fashioned Morse. An exploratory
craft manned only by women launched in 2024 had bypassed
a planet inhabited by a males-only species of humanoids

All females on that planet had died out caused by a virus
that attacked the placenta and then worked its way through
to the brains of these poor women and driven them mad.

They'd exhibited symptoms not unlike earth-bound dementia
and were particularly violent, so violent they had to be exterminated.
Humane treatment failed as the harpies began killing and eating men.

The Chinese government immediately put out a bulletin denying
they had ever been interested in that A1 class planet not only
that, they had never been near that quadrant of the Zoa14 Cluster.

The Russians responded in kind. They had never experimented
with viruses of that particular type so they were not in any way
connected with this tragic planet. The North Koreans were coy

offered to relocate six million women, all volunteers of course
to ease the situation of these unfortunate humanoids. In return
asked for 50 million tons of rice paid for by Chinese Kalashnikovs.

President Trump railed against these all-women flights to outer space
It was dreamed up by a senile Liberal Democrat and should never
have been allowed. Men were the leaders in space not women.

[BobBradshaw]

This is clever and fun. However, it works best as an outline for a parody poem, the details needing to be filled in. I’m surprised you recall the old astronauts poem.
By the way, I enjoyed your parody in the Nutritionist stream. Your sense of humor is delicious.

[FranktheFrank]

I read your poem the other day and thought it fun.
I wanted to enlarge a little
just doodling, Bob.
I could fill in more detail its going to be much longer then.

[BobBradshaw]

Look to make the verbs more active, too. That’s something I need to work on as well.

[FranktheFrank]

Okay, I'll look at it, thanks.

Parody
Censored by the Society for the Preservation of Alien Species - Beware Language likely to Inflame the Politically Sensitive - Hand Wringers and Woke Brigade

'There weren't women on the planet,
and we weren't obliged to play mothers'
Bob Bradshaw, Women Astronauts Leave a Dying Planet, Nov 15, 2019, The Beach -The Watery Poetry Forum

The news came in via plain old fashioned Morse. An exploratory
craft manned only by women launched in 2024 had bypassed
a planet inhabited by a males-only species of humanoids

All females on that planet had died out caused by a virus
that attacked the placenta and then worked its way through
to the brains of these poor women and driven them mad.

They'd exhibited symptoms not unlike earth-bound dementia
and were particularly violent, so violent they had to be exterminated.
Humane treatment failed as the harpies began killing and eating men.

The Chinese government immediately put out a bulletin denying
they had ever been interested in that A1 class planet not only
that, they had never been near that quadrant of the Zoa14 Cluster.

The Russians responded in kind. They had never experimented
with viruses of that particular type so they were not in any way
connected with this tragic planet. The North Koreans were coy

offered to relocate six million women, all volunteers of course
to ease the situation of these unfortunate humanoids. In return
asked for 50 million tons of rice paid for by Chinese Kalashnikovs.

President Trump railed against these all-women flights to outer space
It was dreamed up by a senile Liberal Democrat and should never
have been allowed. Men were the leaders in space not women.

[BobBradshaw]

Ok, I was thinking you could develop more details about the planet, the environment, the women…
And as you filled in your details, emphasize active verbs.

E.g. take this description: “had died out caused by a virus that attacked the placenta.” More active verbs and details might be used: e.g., to “had bled out, a virus eating through the placenta’s walls, inching up into the brain, sucking at it till it was a pulpy mess”….

Detail what is happening. Don’t generalize. And when possible, use active verbs. Don’t say there was mud left on my shoes. Say clay clutched my soles, clamped
down on my ankles, dogged my boots.

That’s the jist of what I was suggesting….



All females on that planet had died out caused by a virus
that attacked the placenta and then worked its way through
to the brains

[FranktheFrank]

I'll work on this in the week, Bob, thanks.