A Virtuous Life

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FranktheFrank
Posts: 1988
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

A Virtuous Life

#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 01 Apr 2024, 11:06

A Virtuous Life
Sestina
By Ieuan ap Hywel

We expire, death gathers pranas and devatas
Our bodies return our elements to the earth
The virtuous have lived according to holy law
They travel the southern path to the ancestral world
To spheres of the moon until karma is met
They watch Earth flood with light and radiant life

Earth revolves and shines with light and thrives with life
Death gathers expired souls and guarding spirits
Rises to moonbase where karma is freed of toil
Our bodies dissolve and releases their elements
We tread lightly when the gods and goddesses sleep
and have kept virtue and duty in Sanskrit law

and helped the widow and the orphan by Sanskrit law
Earth floods with green, deep blue and radiant white
We travel to and wait in the ancestral world
Death gathers pranas and devatas
We surrender our elements to Mother Earth
Traverse Luna until God’s will is met

Dwell in spheres of the moon until karma is spent
The just live according to the holy law
The body returns its elements to the world
We watch Earth flood with light and radiant life
At death the soul gathers pranas and devatas
We take the southern path to our ancestral moon

Travel the southern path to the ancestral world
To spheres of the moon until karma is spent
At death the soul gathers pranas and devatas
The virtuous live according to the holy law
We gather together to see Earth flood with light
The body returns its parts from whence they came

At death the soul gathers breaths and deities
Travel the southern path to the ancestral world
We watch Earth flood with light and radiant life
Dwell in Lunar spheres until karma is spent
The virtuous live according to the holy law
Death gathers our souls and guarding spirits.

Poet's note: I came across a description of the state of the soul after death from an online site
about the Hindu religion and became fascinated by it as a comparative religion and noted the
similarities with the Christian/Jewish view of death. I find this form most satisfying in repeating
mantra-like the Hindu view of death and the afterlife.
Published in: The Wise Owl
Literary. Creative. Aesthetic.
A Monthly Online Magazine

Ieuan ap hywel | The Wise Owl I Painted Stork Edition

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2693
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: A Virtuous Life

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 01 Apr 2024, 21:14

I’m a bit fascinated by this mantra-like verse. The last stanza of this sestina works best for me. Overall I’m not sure how to tackle it from our normal critique perspective because this poem follows another tradition than that of American verse(usually imagistic). The imagery is more general and I suspect follows that in similar religious works. I like the sonics of it. I think it probably works best for a specific audience. I enjoyed it. Sestinas usually are quite satisfying, as are villanelles for me.

CalebMurdock
Posts: 201
Joined: 10 Dec 2023, 14:59

Re: A Virtuous Life

#3 Post by CalebMurdock » 01 Apr 2024, 23:06

I don't know if my input is wanted, but I love the flow of the poem. It's a little mesmerizing.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1988
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: A Virtuous Life

#4 Post by FranktheFrank » 02 Apr 2024, 12:49

Thank you both. All comments always welcome.

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