Upcoming December IBPC 2016:

[Michael (MV)]

 
any newcomers or returnees this month, Welcome!

and here is a home link to the IBPC rules: http://ibpc.webdelsol.com/rules



In this thread, from the poems posted in the workshop forum during the course of the month, recommend/nominate by title & author.

Nominated poets, please acknowledge the nomination here in this thread.
Please reply by accepting or declining the nomination - in this thread.

Please note & observe: This is not a workshopping thread.

In this thread, poems that are ultimately selected to represent the Block are then posted here
as the author would like for the poem to be forwarded
along with all IBPC required info.

When the 1-3 poems are decided upon, and permission granted by each author of the selected poems,

along with all the info needed by each author:



1/Your name

2/e-mail address

3/statement that the poem is your original

4/and unpublished work

5/and that you are not representing in the current IBPC

6/and the poem as you would like it forwarded to the finals.

^^ All of the above is the usual needed info as part of the process.


I will then forward the 1-3 to the IBPC finals.



Thanks,

Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 

[Michael (MV)]

 
abandonment on the block

little activity

where have all the poets gone


Frank,

if you don't already have a poem committed to represent another board,

I hope you'll consider one from your recent.


Thanks,

Michael (MV)
 
 
 
 
 
 

[FranktheFrank]

I am thinking Michael,
I know Bernie is getting over a painful broken leg.
Is it true some poets the older ones, hibernate at about this time.

There are only three poems posted for November:

1. and we'll be laureates (yours)

2. Pengarnddu (mine)

3. Water Carrier (mine)

I nominate yours: 1.

and my two are available.

You could suggest Bob, Bernie and Meena bring forward their October poems
to be considered for November. If they're not to far gone in hibernation.
They have three days I believe.

Have a splendid thanksgiving holiday Michael.

[Michael (MV)]

Thanks, Frank, for your interest in the upcoming IBPC.

What about The Water Carrier



I am recommending Siva's Cremation Is Not Merely Setting Fire:

from late in October, and in light of the commentary in that poem's thread:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6383#p27803



Thanksgiving itself was last weekend, but it commences the advent of the Noël

the Spirit that keeps going, keeps giving & never gives out

forever since the start of our God-created part - the Heart (He art)

He art
therefore
I am

Michael (MV), frère Noël

[FranktheFrank]

I did post a reply and then it vanished,

I nominate your poem as well as Siva's but she should edit it first.

I am pleased you like Bhisti (water carrier alternative title)
if you think it can be improved please advise.

[FranktheFrank]

Ieuan ap Hywel
ieuanaphwel@aol.com
This is my original original work
This is an unpublished work
I am not representing any other forum in the current IBPC
My work posted in November 2016:



The Water Carrier

Vultures circle the city, bored with waiting for the dead
to be laid out for daah sanskar near the river ashes
on a roasting hot day. He waited for the water tender,

red eyed after, repairing a boiler no fun in this heat.
He looked down at the murky waters, pea soup green
with patches of yellow from the clay bottom.

Fins scythed through the muddied sea. The fo'castle crew
had bailed out afraid of painting the prow. He recognises
the old Jew trader as he climbed aboard, Gurkha kukris

for old coats and out-of-fashion clothing. The tender
appears in the distance, a splash of a broad brush of black
in a D’Oyly John; crawling towards the liner. He could make

out a bhoi with one oar, here was the chief’s twenty
tons of water barely rising out of the river mouth. The native
sculled with a patience of one born bhisti, naked save

for a cloth around his loins and one around his head. The sun
moved a few degrees before he heaved-to, tied up alongside,
he gave a cheerful wave and shouted, ‘Water,’ in a sweet

sing-song way. I signalled for him to carry on, he jumped
to it and began connecting the hose coupling; started
the pump two-stroke with a tug of its lanyard; it fired

up and off it went driving the pump, discharging its cargo
of living water. Happy he gave me a two tooth grin
of delight. A veritable Gunga Din, his day almost done.

End

[SivaRamanathan]

"Not Merely Setting Fire" is my original, unpublished poem and I am not representing any other group.My mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com.


"Not Merely Setting Fire"

I forgot to put on a sad face
in between inanities and the mundane.
You had bared your chest beating it with fists
you shrieked when they lifted the body
your cry rent the air, I just kept on
looking at you.

Nudged our son to go have a look
how they had anointed with sandal paste
sacred ash, turmeric and salt,
covered the body with dried dung
made holes in three places
so pressure can escape the skull.


Came back and told me, ‘cremation
is not merely setting fire, Amma.'
At dawn we women walked to the ground;
the heart, they said, was not well cooked
so we left to return to pick up a few choice
bones in a mud pot, later.

At Bhavani where the three tributaries of the Kaveri meet
we immersed the bones and ash. Something kept
nudging me to think if my sister-in-law
would feel the same when they had to deal with my body.

When the body burns the rib cage will sit up
the crematorium guard will put it in its place
with a blow dealt with from his much used bamboo staff
that wards off Mayanam spirits.

[SivaRamanathan]

Michael
Please help me with this.
I do not want this line--


to prevent pressure
lest the head explodes when set fire.

It is too clinical.But do you think we cna put it in the last stanza?

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi Siva,


3 unconditional edits;

if you choose to make any changes, please go into edit mode where your poem is posted here, and modify.

ASAP, Please. Thanks.


1/ abbreviate the title to "Not Merely Setting Fire" or "Not Merely Setting to Fire"


2/

made holes in three places of the head
to prevent pressure build-up in the skull.

or

made holes in three places of the head
so pressure can escape the skull.


^^ I prefer the "escape" version    (but, of course, that is not conditional)


3/

When the body burns the rib cage will sit up;
the crematorium guard will put it in its place
with a blow dealt from his much-used bamboo staff
that wards off the Mayanam spirits.



Siva, Thanks for allowing your poem to represent the Writer's Block.

Good Luck in the finals.


Michael (MV)

after the Life is set free
the body is set to fire

 
 
 
 
 
 

[FranktheFrank]

To my mind the title of Siva's would be better expressed with

1. Not just Setting on Fire

2. the skull prepared with
an orifice to relieve pressure

3. As the body burns the rib cage will rise;
the guard will strike to ward off
Mayanam spirits.

[SivaRamanathan]

Thank you Frank and Michael.
I was looking at the original thread and missed this. Sorry.
Siva

[Michael (MV)]

 
Siva (et al)

Ideally, let's keep workshopping in the workshopping forum.

From time to time, as needed, some last-minute editing/workshopping occurs - as this time

but then editing is an on-going process - but we must move forward b/c of the deadline.


So there is a bit of time to make minor suggestions/edits by the end of this Monday evening 12/5/2016.


1/

Since "Not Merely Setting Fire" occurs in the text, then consider the phasing "Not just Setting on Fire" for the title space.


2/

note the suggested change to the last 2 lines of stanza 2:

and bored holes in three places
so pressure can escape through the skull.

2a/ and note, too, the suggestion for the last stanza


3/

Needed punctuation concerns - which I have incorporated in the illustrated below -


but, Siva, you need to make those changes in your copy to be forwarded, Please & ASAP. Thanks.


below, illustrated to expedite & in the spirit of preparing for the finals   -- Michael (MV)


"Not Merely Setting Fire"

I forgot to put on a sad face
in between inanities and the mundane.
You had bared your chest beating it with fists.
You shrieked when they lifted the body -
your cry rent the air, I just kept on
looking at you.

Nudged our son to go have a look -
how they had anointed with sandal paste
sacred ash, turmeric and salt;
covered the body with dried dung,
and bored holes in three places,
so pressure can escape through the skull.

Came back and told me, ‘cremation
is not merely setting fire, Amma.'
At dawn we women walked to the ground;
the heart, they said, was not well-cooked,
so we left to return to pick up a few choice
bones in a mud pot, later.

At Bhavani, where the three tributaries of the Kaveri meet,
we immersed the bones and ash. Something kept
nudging me to think if my sister-in-law
would feel the same when they had to deal with my body.

When the body burns the rib cage will sit up;
the guard will put it in its place with a blow
dealt with from his much-used bamboo staff
that wards off Mayanam spirits.

 

Thank you Frank and Michael.
I was looking at the original thread and missed this. Sorry.
Siva

 
 
 
 
 
 

[SivaRamanathan]

'Not Merely Setting Fire', is my own original poem and it has not been published anywhere.My id is no sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com.com

"Not Merely Setting Fire"

I forgot to put on a sad face
in between inanities and the mundane.
You had bared your chest beating it with fists.
You shrieked when they lifted the body -
your cry rent the air, I just kept on
looking at you.

Nudged our son to go have a look -
how they had anointed with sandal paste
sacred ash, turmeric and salt;
covered the body with dried dung,
and bored holes in three places,
so pressure can escape through the skull.

Came back and told me, ‘cremation
is not merely setting fire, Amma.'
At dawn we women walked to the ground;
the heart, they said, was not well-cooked,
so we left to return to pick up a few choice
bones in a mud pot, later.

At Bhavani, where the three tributaries of the Kaveri meet,
we immersed the bones and ash. Something kept
nudging me to think if my sister-in-law
would feel the same when they had to deal with my body.

When the body burns the rib cage will sit up;
the guard will put it in its place with a blow
dealt with from his much-used bamboo staff
that wards off Mayanam spirits.

[Michael (MV)]

 
Thanks, Siva. And I note from above that you are not representing another board:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=6409#p27809


Good Luck to the Writer's Block in the finals



Michael (MV)

'Not Merely Setting Fire', is my own original poem and it has not been published anywhere.My id is no sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com.com

"Not Merely Setting Fire"

I forgot to put on a sad face
in between inanities and the mundane.
You had bared your chest beating it with fists.
You shrieked when they lifted the body -
your cry rent the air, I just kept on
looking at you.

Nudged our son to go have a look -
how they had anointed with sandal paste
sacred ash, turmeric and salt;
covered the body with dried dung,
and bored holes in three places,
so pressure can escape through the skull.

Came back and told me, "cremation
is not merely setting fire, Amma."
At dawn we women walked to the ground;
the heart, they said, was not well-cooked,
so we left to return to pick up a few choice
bones in a mud pot, later.

At Bhavani, where the three tributaries of the Kaveri meet,
we immersed the bones and ash. Something kept
nudging me to think if my sister-in-law
would feel the same when they had to deal with my body.

When the body burns the rib cage will sit up;
the guard will put it in its place with a blow
dealt with from his much-used bamboo staff
that wards off Mayanam spirits.

 
 
 
  
 
 
 

[FranktheFrank]

Bearing in mind this is not a place for editing, I have to say
that in my opinion the phrase: 'well-cooked' is wrong,
cooking is to do with preparing food for eating;
to include this instead of 'burnt' or 'burned'
will kill the poem dead for any judge.

Other than that best wishes in the competition.

[SivaRamanathan01]

Thank you Frank.I wrote this poem because I wanted to say that the heart was not cooked properly.Maybe it is a literal translation from Tamil,my mother tongue. Let it be.No offence meant.Does Michael know that this was the poem that was shortlisted by the Bridport? Is it okay to represent the IBPC?

Siva

[FranktheFrank]

No offence
it's just not the right word.

[Michael (MV)]

 
Siva (et al)

This is a detail that should have been considered earlier.

Siva, until you mentioned it here in this entry on Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:02 pm,

I truly had not recalled & recognized it as on the Bridport shortlist.


I'll need to consult with the IBPC.

The poems were forwarded last evening - Monday 12/5.

Siva, if your poem is still eligible - and I am hoping that it is, but I'll need to check w/ IBPC to be certain-

then if it is indeed eligible, then we can see about those other changes.


What we learn from this:

In the future, it probably needs to be mentioned and/or re-mentioned
if a poem posted in the workshop forum has received any recognition(s).

Thanks.


Now,

I'm going to e-mail IBPC to check on the eligibility of a poem that earlier this year made
Bridport's Poetry shortlist:

https://www.bridportprize.org.uk/conten ... shortlists (Sivakami Velliangiri!)


Since then, the poem has been workshopped & retitled as

"Not Merely Setting Fire" by Siva Ramanathan sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com.com

^^ Is the submitted workshopped-edition eligible to compete in the IBPC?


Please check this thread for updates. Thanks.

Michael (MV)

Thank you Frank.I wrote this poem because I wanted to say that the heart was not cooked properly.Maybe it is a literal translation from Tamil,my mother tongue. Let it be.No offence meant.Does Michael know that this was the poem that was shortlisted by the Bridport? Is it okay to represent the IBPC?

Siva

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[FranktheFrank]

Michael
It would be gratefully appreciated if you
would kindly indicate which poems have been forwarded
to the IBPC.

regards

[SivaRamanathan01]

Michael

I seem to be saying so many sorrys, which seem meaningless.Please check it out.Or to be on the safer side, you may post one of your poems. I remember their saying that since it will not be carried in their Anthology,it will not be posted online or on their website,so that it can be sent elsewhere.

Siva

[SivaRamanathan01]

Congratulations! Whilst you have not won one of the top thirteen prizes in the Bridport Prize competition, I am writing to let you know that your poem:

Cremation is not merely setting fire
was shortlisted. We had over 5,400 poetry entries this year, and 200 were shortlisted.

Details of the winners and Patience Agbabi's report will be posted on our website from 17 October after 6pm. The shortlists will be available too at

https://www.bridportprize.org.uk/content/shortlists

Click the link for 2016. If you would like a paper copy, please send an A5 SAE to the address below.

We intend publishing the names of those shortlisted on our website (your name only, not the actual poem or the title, so that the poem can be entered elsewhere). If you would prefer your name not to be added, please could you let me know.

I would also be grateful if you do not publicise your win especially on social media until after 17 October - thank you. (Friends and family don’t count obviously!) Again, our congratulations.

With our very best wishes

Kate Wilson
Prize Administrator

the Bridport Prize
PO Box 6910
Bridport
Dorset
DT6 9BQ

E: kate@bridportprize.org.uk
W: http://www.bridportprize.org.uk
Twitter: @bridportprize
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bridportprize

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi Frank,

in the entry above viewtopic.php?f=3&t=6409#p27832

the 6th line; "The poems were forwarded last evening - Monday 12/5."


yours   Siva's   mine


Good Luck to us all every one



Michael (MV)

Michael
It would be gratefully appreciated if you
would kindly indicate which poems have been forwarded
to the IBPC.

regards

 
 
 
 

[SivaRamanathan01]

Thank you Michael for your patience.

Sivakami