Since my manuscript is non-fiction/memoir I have developed a book proposal as an answer to this assignment. My story statement is DC Stanfa is looking for fun and love, but discovers that trouble is a byproduct of both. DC is easily site-tracked for "entertainment purposes" and has a wild streak that she must reign in as a single parent. In doing so, she also attracts her perfect life-partner.
The proposal follows:
Will Dance for Margaritas
Having Fun and flirting With Trouble, At Any Age
By: DC Stanfa
DC Stanfa
13805 Victor Ave.
Hudson, Florida 34667
513 582-9406
dcstanfa@gmail.com
dcstanfa.com
Overview
What if a girl grows up so addicted to fun and its by-product trouble that she becomes an expert at both? What if she tries to inspire and embolden readers, no matter their ages, to believe in and pursue the fun yet to come in a funny, adventurous book?
Will Dance for Margaritas: Having Fun and Flirting with Trouble, At Any Age is a mixed drink of a book; three parts memoir, one-part sassy essay poured over “tipsy” advice, with a splash of potent cocktail recipes. It’s garnished with an After-Party epilogue. It’s a midlife coming-of-age and coming-to-my-senses (amidst the nonsense) story.
Navigating past my divorce, single motherhood, maintaining peak sales performance in my corporate career—and still trying to get laid was serious work. Luckily, my maverick spirit insisted on coming out to play. When I found a like-minded running group (hashers, by definition are a drinking group with a running problem) I combined four of my favorite pastimes, cute boys, drinking, running, and dressing up in costumes.
Turning forty was a tough milestone, especially when my mother hired a Mr. Potato Head look-alike to strip at my party. Humility may come with age, but in my case, so does humiliation. I survived that with humor, self-deprecation, and a lot of imagination.
Grown-ups are supposed to behave, but I can’t help myself. I give into the slightest temptation to play a prank, or “pretend”. In “Poser,” I try on several personas. When I rescue a dog from a hot car and let him loose in Target, he quickly finds his surprised owners. I lecture them, proclaiming to be a “veterinarian.”
There’s also frustration in love, as Tom, my FFB or Fake Fiancé Boyfriend (a retired Police Chief, and subsequently, my Pool Boy) keeps me on the right side of the law, while he remains light years away from the altar.
Furthering the irony, there’s me, DC — which the FFB says stands for Disorderly Conduct, raising my honor student/Goody Two-Shoes daughter, Cori. When my teen daughter Cori’s pediatrician asked me, “Have you had the don’t drink, don’t smoke conversation?” I answered, “Yeah, but she can’t get me to quit.”
After ten years Tom and I finally love-shack-up, buying a canal-side home in Florida. The neighborhood has no HOA fees, which also means no governing authority over wackadoodle neighbors with a half-dozen loud, exotic birds.
The more I push for Tom to get married, the more he pulls back. When the see-saw breaks, and Tom runs away from home, I consult with a psychic/medium to get him to return. With the help of spirit guides and the law attraction, Tom and I reunite—with an ironic ultimatum.
Table of Contents and Chapter Outline
1. Introduction
2. Twenty-Twice
3. All That, And A Bag
4. A Worse Mousetrap
5. Re-Hashing (A Drinking Club with A Running Problem)
6. Five People You Meet in A Bar
7. Chickening Out
8. Cop A Feel
9. Like Management
10. What’s Your Deal-Breaker?
11. New Balance and Old Warranties
12. Poser
13. Inside the Box
14. Peekers, Peckers and Pervs
15. Toilet Brush with Fame
16. A State of Mine
17. To Be or Wannabe?
18. Goody-Two-Shoes Barbie
19. Stanfanizing
20. Fear of Flying Elbows
21. Will Dance for Margaritas
22. Pushing Time
23. Drinking with The Enemy
24. I Will Tell You the Title at The End of This Chapter (Zen and The Art of Pool Boys)
25. Crying Babe Magnet
26. Just Jewelry
27. Lucky and Love
28. Freezing My Ass Off
29. No Good Deed Goes Unpublished
30. Must Love Birds
31. Under the Gazebo
32. Afterparty (Epilogue)
1. Introduction
2. Twenty-Twice
Celebrating the big four-o turned into two epic girls’ getaways, including a beach trip with a throw-back party in which we each came in “character” as a memorable person from high school. My sister, Lori slayed it—in a cheerleader outfit, portraying a classmate/cheerleader who got pregnant her senior year. Lori was actually six months pregnant, with her first child.
During a bar-hopping island adventure, our custom T-shirts invited signatures for “orgasm donors”. People began signing our appendages as we ran out of room on the shirts. In the hungover morning, we discovered it was permanent marker.
3. All That, And A Bag
My mother hired a male stripper for my big fortieth party. He looked like Meatloaf’s uglier brother, but mistakenly thought he was Magic Mike. He stripped down to a thong and insisted I spank his doughy bottom. I was mortified, and guests were horrified. Mom asked the agency for her money back.
4. A Worse Mousetrap
As a newly divorced mom, I attempted to solve a rodent issue (this pre-dated Google search solutions) with my pop-bottle trap invention. My kindergartner, Cori’s curiosity about the dead critters gave us each a surprise.
5. Re-Hashing (A Drinking Club with A Running Problem)
In search of physical fitness and a distraction on days my daughter spent with her dad, I found an unlikely support group with a Cincinnati hashing club—off-road runners. Hashing is a global “disorganization” with traditions of trespassing; traversing extreme terrain; drinking before, during and after the runs; singing bawdy songs, and renaming new members. They also have themed, costumed runs, like The Red Dress Run. The boys looked fabulous.
Several of us ventured to a Cleveland event, and fun turned to trouble when we got stuck on an island with lecherous cross-dressers.
6. Five People You Meet in A Bar
I explore my theory that you will meet everyone you need to know in this life in a bar. And although they may look nothing alike, and they may be on opposite coasts, they will always be the same five people: The Professor; The Porn Star; Girls Gone Wild; Your Best Buddy, and James Bond.
I also contemplated God (who often disguises himself as the bartender) creating bar light as a kind gesture to some who are more beautiful on the inside.
7. Chickening Out
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead, dismembered, partially cooked and being transported in my 1998 Intrepid. It really had no choice in the matter. The bird returned the favor with a persistent fowl odor and remnants which even Mr. Detail couldn’t extricate.
8. Cop A Feel
Recovering from “my sluttiest summer” I met a handsome, reserved older man (James Bond from Five People You Meet in A Bar) whom I pursued to help my Cougar recovery program. Tom was not only a real adult—I had no idea what to do with one of those, he was also a police chief. “I thought I saw a glimmer of wild in his eyes, or maybe it was just my own reflection.”
9. Like Management
An essay requested and published as a guest blog for Moms Who Drink and Swear. It’s about a four-letter word that teenagers abuse. It does not begin with an F.
10. What’s Your Deal-Breaker?
The editor of Cincinnati Men’s Magazine requested this essay about the “tipping point” which ends a relationship. The magazine went out of business before it was published.
11. New Balance and Old Warranties
My college boyfriend found me online—thirty years after he dumped me. Our email memories turned into humorous banter. I remembered what I loved most about him (it was not his infidelity). He still made me laugh. I concluded that relationships are like shoes. We walk around in them because we feel good in them. When they wear out, and we discard them we can still appreciate them as part of our journey.
12. Poser
Why be yourself, when it can be more fun to pretend you are someone else? I’ve tried on various personas and professions occasionally for “educational/training” purposes, but it’s usually been for the amusement of myself and others.
I have posed as a talent scout for GQ magazine; A sexy Amish animal-husbandry expert; A Betty Ford Clinic admissions consultant—Anita Knudder (the K is silent), and a previously cloistered nun. I crafted business cards for all of them.
I also rescued a dog from a hot car and scolded the owners while claiming to be a veterinarian. When I saved a baby from a near-drowning, I similarly lectured the parents who’d left their baby alone in a large bathtub called the Gulf of Mexico. “I should know how dangerous this was, because I am a pediatrician.”
13. Inside the Box
In my decades-long industrial packaging career, tenacity and humor were keys to succeeding in the Good Old Boys environment. I opine that while we have the freedom to be entrepreneurs or whores, it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference. I also assert that the gender card is an Ace. Depending on the situation, it can be a one or an eleven.
14. Peekers, Peckers and Pervs
After a couple of window-peeker and indecent exposure experiences growing-up, as an adult I’m emboldened to confront the subject with humor. I similarly confronted another Perv I encounter on a Texas highway.
A “Male Review” in a Mexican bar proved to be X-rated. My friend Karen, and I escaped, yet we still suffer from PPTSD: Post Penis Traumatic Stress Disorder.
15. Toilet Brush with Fame
Working backstage for concerts during college gave me access to dozens of “celebrities” in the late’70s and early ’80s. I chronicled my encounters, including the highlight of shaking Frank Sinatra’s hand, to the lowlight of cleaning the dressing room urinals.
I witnessed the fulfillment of odd “rider” requests from legends like Bob Dylan and Barry Manilow. I even hung out with Rodney Dangerfield along with his hooker. How many people can boast that they taught James Taylor how to use Nautilus weight equipment?
Later in life, I continued meeting famous people, randomly. When I met Anthony Bourdain at the Austin airport, he graciously accepted a copy of my first book.
“It looks Delightful,” he said.
One of my few life regrets is not staying to have a beer with Bourdain. My day-job meeting seemed more important at the time.
Carpe Corona.
16. A State of Mine
A tongue-in-cheek essay about how much Ellen DeGeneres and I hate Valentine’s Day. Despite being finally a “we” in a relationship with Chief Tom, I offer snarky advice to other lovers.
17. To Be or Wannabe?
This story was first published in the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop newsletter. The workshop director was fascinated by the “outrageously priced” media event, also described as speed-dating for journalists. I may have failed my attempt to BE FEATURED IN AMERICA’S BIGGEST MAGAZINES AND INTERVIEWED ON TOP TV SHOWS, per the advertisement for the event, but I succeeded in emptying my bank account and having another funny story.
18. Goody-Two-Shoes Barbie
When my teen daughter Cori’s pediatrician asked me, “Have you had the don’t drink, don’t smoke conversation?” I answered, “Yeah, but she can’t get me to quit.”
I constructed a mid-chapter chart comparing my high school accomplishments to Cori’s. While Cori aced a physics geothermal project her junior year, I’d crafted a ceramic bong in art class at the same age. My daughter performed chorus concerts and was captain of her color-guard; I performed mock-modeling poses for baked friends at parties.
19. Stanfanizing
My boyfriend, Tom having been in law-enforcement and an overall superb human, is often pushed past his comfort zone by my wilder approach to life. I fully embrace free upgrades even if they require me to stretch a truth, or ten. When shameless meets opportunity, I’m at my favorite intersection.
These are tales of no-cost yachting, free limo rides (unless you count fear and embarrassment as currency) and “visiting” experiences at resorts which we weren’t guests. After successfully upgrading from the meh buffet to a high-end casino steakhouse, Tom finally went all-in and named the free upgrading process after me.
20. Fear of Flying Elbows
As the child of free-range parents, I’d broken my nose and other appendages several times, was bitten by a rat, and hit three parked cars on a joy-ride around the block—all before entering high school. Our generation survived Jarts and running behind the mosquito-spray truck.
As a helicopter parent, I attempted to bubble-wrap Cori from the jackassidents of my youth. When she moved to Central America in the midst of seven active volcanoes—known as the ring of fire, Cori reported several six-point earthquakes as “no big deal”. The earth also moved under my feet.
21. Will Dance for Margaritas
According to my sister, Sherry, “Drinking may not be the answer, but it’s a damn good guess.” This brief history of vacations in Mexico, illustrates how some establishments bait you with “free” tequila to coerce you into being “free” entertainment. Of course, I’d dance on a table without liquid encouragement. What’s surprising is mild-mannered Tom giving into the tequila barter, with his new partner Jose Cuervo, placing second in a Mas Macho Hombre contest.
22. Pushing Time
I rolled away the rock from timeshare sales and poke what’s underneath with a shtick.
Q: “What do you do with a drunken sailor?” A: Put him in a room with timeshare salesmen.” Surely, you’ve heard the horror stories from friends and relatives? I refer to the presentation experience as real-estate date rape. However, I continued to play the “free gift game” until I evened the score.
23. Drinking with The Enemy
Be careful what you brag about, was sage advice from my maternal grandmother. My longest running brag about how smart I am about buying, or not buying timeshares backfired, when the St. Maarten resort we’d fallen in love with kicked us out.
24. I Will Tell You the Title at The End of This Chapter
Being a water sign and a romantic are not solid reasons to buy a home with a huge in-ground pool, especially if you’ve previously hired people to change your lightbulbs. Escapades of home maintenance ineptitude, and the unreliability of pool boys—and why you should sleep with them—explained. (Zen and The Art of Pool Boy Maintenance)
25. Crying Babe Magnet
Before I understood the law of attraction, I constantly found myself annoyed by misbehaved children and clueless parents. If there was one screaming lap-child on the plane, they were practically in my lap. I’d spot a Dennis-the-menace having a melt-down during boarding while the parents focused on their phones—ignoring him. I’d think: Please, don’t sit near me!
The universe paid proper ADHD attention, hearing “sit near me,” and complied with my request.
I developed a written citation for misbehaved parents: S.P.A.N.K., which is an acronym for Support Parental Accountability for Naughty Kids. The idea was to issue the citation to parents, offering tips on handling children in stressful, public places. My police chief boyfriend forbade me to pursue it beyond the idea stage because, “some parent will likely beat the crap out of you, or possibly kill you.” Nonetheless, the citation is offered in the chapter, along with a disclaimer.
26. Just Jewelry
Most couples announce wedding engagements in their local newspapers, or on Facebook. My fake engagement was announced in 146 newspapers across the country, without my consent. Of course, when you have a close friend who writes a humor column, you never know what she considers “material” until you read it.
On one hand, I had a diamond, on the other hand Tom did not propose marriage. I lamented, sulked, and finally joked about having a Fake Fiancé Boyfriend (FFB). My optimism combined with romanticism rendered me delusional, and I planned a destination wedding behind Tom’s back. It backfired, and an expensive Caribbean villa sat empty, as my “nobody died” mantra is answered by the universe—allowing a grieving friend a retreat from the aftermath of burying her daughter.
27. Lucky and Love
A Little Tipsy: When planning your wedding behind your groom-to-be’s back, don’t tempt lady luck by scheduling it on Friday the thirteenth. Also, perhaps check on Mercury’s status (in retrograde) and consider that full moons—especially Super Moons might add to the “crazy”.
While digging around a palm tree at our new house in Florida, Tom was bit by a pigmy rattlesnake. At the hospital, I revealed to him that this “unlucky” day had been my intended date for our wedding. He seemingly preferred the snake bite to an ambush at the altar.
28. Freezing My Ass Off
A version of this story was chosen and published, in conjunction with the Erma Bombeck Foundation, in an anthology titled Laugh Out Loud.
Skinny girls never see fat or fifty in their futures. We are attacked from our behinds. Apparently, I loved wine and chocolate more than I hated my love handles. In an attempt to un-bake my rolls, I underwent CoolSculpting procedures which felt like my organs were being sucked out of my body, one at a time. While my blubber processed into fatsicles, I contemplated my decade of laziness.
What happened to that girl who loved to dance, and didn’t she have cheekbones?
I began bicycling, walking, and went on a low-calorie diet. I also stalked photos of high school friends on Facebook. Were we all in the same bloat? After my daughter learned I’d been licking the same chocolate sucker for weeks, she convinced me to kick my Charlie Bucket diet to the curb. “Cry me a chocolate river and call me Augustus Gloop.”
29. No Good Deed Goes Unpublished
Acts of kindness or generosity sometimes backfire. Like any burn they differ in degree of severity. One friend helped a new dad take care of his fussy baby on a three-hour flight. He thanked her buy texting her a dick picture, and an invitation to hookup.
I donated some items to a charity auction, including “lunch, or dinner with the author.” I briefly spoke with the “winner” and discussed looking at dates for the following month, as I lived a few hours away. A couple of weeks later, around 10:00 p.m. I got a phone call from a manager of a high-end steak house requesting my credit card digits.
“There are two men here saying they won dinner at an auction. They are pretty drunk, so we cut them off and presented the check. They said to call you, because you are paying.”
I asked the manager to put my high steak-holder on the phone.
“What are you doing? We didn’t agree to this,” I reprimanded.
“Well, I really don’t want to have dinner wish you. I mean, I don’t even know you. Sho, I deshided I’d rather go out with a friend,” he slurred.
That “burn” wasn’t the worst of it, the bill was $360.00, not including tip. This guy won lunch/dinner with me for a bid of $50.00 Loser.
30. Must Love Birds
Gated communities aren’t for those of us who enjoy a ceramic bust of Elvis adorning our lawn. The good news about our Florida home is that there’s no HOA fee. The bad news was when new neighbors brought along five Brazilian macaws, and kept them in outdoor cages directly across the canal—screeching like they were being murdered, there was no HOA board to do a damn thing about it.
After a few months and calls to several agencies and police departments, and we started looking at houses in other neighborhoods.
Ironically, we saved the life of one of the bird owners who ended up in the canal.
31. Under the Gazebo
What does one do after your life partner of fifteen years tells you he’s leaving you?
“It’s over. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done,” Tom said
I robotically made Tom a ham sandwich for the long road trip. There was nothing more to argue about. While Tom clearly told me umpteenth times over the years, “DC, I am never getting married again,” I interpreted that to mean “sometime in the future, we will get married.”
So, I’d pushed him again, this time with a public proposal. (He answered maybe, but later told me that was just to minimize my embarrassment.) I’d also conspired with friends who tried to talk him into a small ceremony under our gazebo, on the canal.
“This again?” was always Tom’s response to me broaching the subject.
The reality show, “The Reluctant Groom,” which only aired in my head, finally jumped the shark in this episode. The shark jumped “this again” for the last time, and Tom quit the show.
After the numbness subsided, I consulted with my psychic medium. Cheryl told me my spirit guides had “instructions” for me, if I wanted Tom back. 1) I must not “leave”. 2) I had to keep positive energy flowing, by taking care of the house, like he would. 3) I should not discuss the break-up with others, as it would give it more power, and possible finality. 4) Stop referring to Tom as my Fake Fiancé Boyfriend, as it attracted negativity. “The universe doesn’t understand sarcasm, Cheryl explained.
After about a month, Tom returned when I agreed to a reverse ultimatum—I vowed never to bring up marriage again. The universe may not understand sarcasm, but God invented irony.
Reader Demographic
The market for this book is women between the ages of thirty and seventy-something. Bowker Market Research reported that 65% of books are purchased by women, and 72% of gift books are also bought by women.
Will Dance for Margaritas’ sub-title: Having Fun and Flirting with Trouble—At Any Age lends it to a gift book purchased for a birthday, or another rite-of-passage. The target audience for WDFM is women approaching and surviving their milestone birthdays of forty, fifty, sixty and seventy. According to The Village.com, one in three Americans is now fifty or older. “The key to longevity is your lifestyle,” according to the site. Many sources including gutsytraveler.com, in 2018 report women accounting for up to 85% of all consumer purchases.
This book will appeal to fun-loving bachelorettes, mid-life mommas and post-menopausal baby-boomers, as well as the rebelliously colorful ladies of the Red Had Society which has upwards of 70,000 members. Looking for a laugh, and a playful escape in book-form isn’t something that shrivels as we age. Senior women are pursuing retirement in Margaritaville style (fun and escapism). According to its website Margaritaville is a state of mind—but it’s also a brick and mortar multi-billion-dollar business that IS building retirement communities.
AAA recently reported a surge in the “Girlfriend Getaway” market trend; 39% of women plan to go on a girl’s trip in the next three years. I am affiliated with several of these groups and have created a concept group with my sister: Finding Your Badass Self—A Search Party will be launched in 2019. The inspiration of the group/retreats is her award-winning book Finding My Badass Self, A year of Truths and Dares.
Author Information
After a couple of decades selling empty corrugated boxes, DC Stanfa embarked on her second tree-killing profession (and finally put that journalism degree to some use) as a writer. Drawing humor from her own experiences—she crafted a how-not-to memoir for the benefit of other women. The Art of Table Dancing: Escapades of An Irreverent Woman is a chronicle of crazy-but-true stories—revealing her maverick spirit early as a “mere seventh-grader”, going toe-to-toe with the Catholic Church in the 1970s. Originally published in 2006 by award-winning Orange Frazer Press, “Table Dancing” was picked up by Librario in Scotland, UK in 2008, after a Librario agent discovered Stanfa (hosting her own booth) in the independent aisle at Book Expo America.
The book garnered media attention as Stanfa was featured in numerous publications, including a front-page interview in the Cincinnati Enquirer. She made several local TV appearances and was a monthly featured guest in 2006-2007 on the Q102 radio show “Amy’s Table: A Girl’s Guide to Living”. She was featured in the documentary program “In the Tank” on PBS for her perseverance in the publishing world. She was chosen as favorite monthly author on Wordshack and received an honorable mention in Writers Digest in 2009 for “life stories”.
In 2012 Stanfa teamed up with best-selling author Susan Reinhardt to publish the humorous anthology Fifty Shades of Funny: Hookups, Breakups and Crackups. The book editors were chosen as authors of the month by the Erma Bombeck Workshop newsletter.
Stanfa has mentored to women and girls in business, as well as the arts. She is a past President of the Women In Packaging Ohio Chapter. She also developed and facilitated a creative self-expression program in conjunction with the Boys & Girls Club.
Stanfa taught humor writing workshops at libraries in conjunction with Scholastic and was on faculty at the Mad Anthony Writers Workshop. She has guest blogged for Moms Who Drink And Swear (one million followers) and has stories published in Dishing with the Kitchen Virgin, by Susan Reinhardt, and Laugh Out Loud—an anthology which featured forty women from the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, published in March 2018. Stanfa has been a guest on several podcasts, including Midlife-A-Go-G0.
Comparative Titles
WDFM is similar to Mamrie Hart’s You Deserve A Drink published by Plume, May 26, 2015 with stories of boozy misadventures and tales of debauchery. Like Hart, Stanfa includes cocktail recipes along with the chapters. Hart has short pieces throughout her book “Quickshots”. Stanfa provides “Side Bars” and “A Little Tipsy” as an aperitif.
Unlike You Deserve A Drink, WDFM is more than a collection of essays about drunken, reckless behavior. Yes, there are a few of those. However, Stanfa’s stories offer more breadth as well as much greater depth. She intertwines funny stories with threads of her relationships, first with her daughter and then with her life partner. The arc of the overall manuscript is about discovering her “new” older self and finding love. While there’s “sin” in both Hart’s and Stanfa’s true tales, the latter gives the reader some deeper emotions around loss, and ultimately some redemption.
Although Hart’s target audience is on the younger side of the WDFM target market, Stanfa’s millennial daughter—who watches Hart’s YouTube channel gave her mom the book, saying “You two are a lot alike.”
Another book with similarities to WDFM is There Are No Grown-Ups, by Pamela Druckerman (who also authored Bringing Up Bebe), published by Penguin Press, May 29, 2018. Like Druckerman, Stanfa’s is a midlife coming-of-age story which utilizes self-deprecating wit weaving their experiences and observations which the reader may find relatable, but also entertaining. Looking into a mirror is something we all do. It becomes a complicated relationship in both Stanfa’s stories on aging and Druckerman’ s. That’s where the similarity ends. There are No Grown-Ups gives greater regard to outward appearances than WDFM’s pages.
Stanfa’s stories aren’t just about How to Turn Forty (one of Druckerman’ s chapters). She has several turning forty stories—all fabulous, fun events, while Druckerman’ s actual party in her own words was “failed”. Stanfa takes the reader through more than a decade and a half of undergoing mid-life and recovering from it simultaneously through humor.
Although There Are No Grown-Ups chapter titles all begin with “How To”, the stories are still memoir, peppered with research—and not actual advice. Stanfa offers real (albeit snarky) lifestyle and travel advice in her “A Little Tipsy” snippets.
Unlike Druckerman’ s constant references to living in the “French culture”, Stanfa explores the inhabitants and culture of “Barworld” in her Five People You Meet in A Bar chapter.
The blunt, irreverent writing style is Stanfa’s personality coming through on the pages, and is reminiscent of Chelsea Handler’s Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea published by Gallery Books, December 29, 2009. Like Handler, Stanfa is addicted to pretending. Improvisation helped each upgrade to first class—Handler pretended to be honeymooning with her father. Stanfa offered up her gorgeous bodybuilder identical twin Chiropractors as bait to a willing gate-agent. They both stretch the truth like rubber bands, which occasionally snap out of their hands flying into unchartered space.
For no purpose other than self-entertainment, Chandler tells strangers elaborate stories, such as being born in England and getting a bowling scholarship to a California boarding school. Stanfa posed as a talent scout for GQ magazine; a scam that landed her in a national column as well as a notorious talk show.
Marketing and Network Opportunities
When my first book The Art of Table Dancing was published in 2006, Amazon was a puppy. My publisher was a small regional house, and they were unable to get me into national book stores. I relied on the old hand-selling technique—at bars, festivals, and special events. I also found a boutique distributor Salty Shores (no longer in business) that sold to coastal book stores and gift shops. I developed a product called “Beach Party in a Bag” which contained the book, a neon pink and green ball cap and drink koozie—both emblazoned with Will Dance for Margaritas, my trademarked phrase. Also included in the bag were a lei, and a few packets of Twang Margarita salt (my first website sponsor). I sold four thousand books in two years, with a very small percent of online sales.
Fast-forward twelve years, and it’s time to play with the Big Dog, Amazon. I plan to hire a publicist who is savvy in digital and social media marketing. My PR/AD budget for WDFM is $10,000 dollars.
I am in pre-production for a YouTube channel about middle age and early retirement, and midlife reinvention, Here I Go Again will be humorous, informative—but mostly entertaining.
I will capitalize on my networking in Facebook groups and other social media. Here are some of my groups and statistics:
• Moms Who Drink and Swear has more than a million members. The founder, Nicole Knepper is a good friend of mine. She was a contributor to my Fifty Shades of Funny Anthology. I am in the acknowledgement of her book. She has agreed to provide a blurb.
• I belong to several groups that are dedicated to the love of the island of St. Maarten, a tightly-knit network of thirty-thousand and am friends with all of the site administers. There are two chapters in WDFM that take place on the island, and many references. I have a commitment for several giveaways when the book comes out.
• I am active in People I Want to Punch in the Throat, with three hundred thousand members. The founder, Jen Mann had her publishing debut in the Fifty Shades of Funny anthology. She has since become a NYT bestselling author.
• I belong to several beach-loving groups, including Beach Therapy, and Beach Therapy Marketplace. The total membership of these groups is over thirty-thousand sand-diggers.
• I am active in several writers, groups, and workshops, including several Erma Bombeck-centric—a throng of ten-thousand funny, supportive people.
• I follow many closed women-of-a-certain-age groups, including The Women of Midlife, and Sassy Ageless Women. The network represents twenty-thousand women.
• My sister, Sherry Stanfa-Stanley has a loyal following of more than five-thousand fans— from her blogging days, and in the advent of publishing her award-winning book, Finding My Badass Self, A Year of Truths and Dares. Sherry is also a PR professional. She’s offered her marketing assistance, as well as a blurb.