Flight
At five years old you flew around the park
with your wingspan
of chubby arms, your bones
apparently as light as birds’.
I watched as skeptical as a crow,
and then picked you up,
settling you onto the perch
of my shoulders. Quickly
you transformed into a stuttering machine gun
of a WWI dogfight.
And now you’re setting off
to college, nodding goodbye
to your parents. You walk up
the ramp and vanish,
former decorated war pilot,
looking to add to your resume,
as we stand at the airport glass
and watch your plane’s lift
into clouds, another
child’s inevitable
flight.
Flight
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Flight
Moving. I suggest using WWI instead of writing it out. Also suggest adding a gonna after three, or saying three years old. I was confused if you might have meant 3 o'clock. Minor nit.
The rest really comes together. A poignant take of growing up, leaving home
The rest really comes together. A poignant take of growing up, leaving home
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Flight
Thx, Ken...I have made your suggested changes
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Flight
I like the transition of a small boy
playing, practising life
and the last line where
he achieves his dream.
Let it be and go on forever.
playing, practising life
and the last line where
he achieves his dream.
Let it be and go on forever.