Speaking Babylonian
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Speaking Babylonian
We count noses,
toes and fingers.
One little, two little,
this little piggy
went to market.
My grandson, blood
of my blood's blood.
On the carpet, a fat,
little Buddha
proud as an Emporer
in the noon day sun.
In obeisance, I am all-foured
in the day room.
He pulls my hair and ears,
pats my back gently
tries to say "good boy."
His gibberish is canonical.
toes and fingers.
One little, two little,
this little piggy
went to market.
My grandson, blood
of my blood's blood.
On the carpet, a fat,
little Buddha
proud as an Emporer
in the noon day sun.
In obeisance, I am all-foured
in the day room.
He pulls my hair and ears,
pats my back gently
tries to say "good boy."
His gibberish is canonical.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Speaking Babylonian
Sweet, delightful...charming without ever being sentimental. Kudos
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Speaking Babylonian
Thangs Bob. Any thought on improving it?
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Speaking Babylonian
I liked the first version better...I don’t like “unintelligible little alien”.
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- Posts: 2688
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Speaking Babylonian
The Close to holiness line is too much of a stretch for me...it’s a terrific poem...don’t overwork it
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- Posts: 1987
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Speaking Babylonian
I agree, very personal, very human.