Wooden Hut - removed for Publication
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Wooden Hut - removed for Publication
removed for Publication
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Tribute of a Wooden Hut
I like the style you're developing, mixing in local slang....love the cockney her-indoors...the stanza is hilarious. I would move the third stanza up as the second stanza...the flow of the Vernon theme would improve. I especially like the next to last stanza...the writing is so good....I think you need a question mark at the end of the poem....I don't know the references in the first stanza...so I won't comment on it...someone else will know.
Overall, a lovely read....so glad you wrote it.
Love these lines:
They would sit, drink bitter, and listen
to the sounds of the marsh, to the music
of the sedge warbler's call,
Overall, a lovely read....so glad you wrote it.
Love these lines:
They would sit, drink bitter, and listen
to the sounds of the marsh, to the music
of the sedge warbler's call,
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Tribute of a Wooden Hut
Thanks Bob,
Re: From his Wooden Hut - V3
You have a great story telling ability, Frank. This one is filed with beautiful imagery. I also love the local slang which makes this quite original. I feel I am in the poem as I read. So many lines to like. The lemon washed boathouse just drew me in.
Eira
Eira
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: From his Wooden Hut - V3
Ta Eira, glad you enjoyed.
Re: From the Wooden Hut - V3
Beautifullly written Frank. I ditto the accolades of others then add a bravo for the final stanza.
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: From the Wooden Hut - V3
Thanks Dale, high praise indeed.