Renaming Constellations
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- Posts: 2683
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Renaming Constellations
Renaming Constellations
Six years ago I almost died.
I don't worry about small things.
So when my plumbing starts to tremble
like a small child under a cold shower,
the bones of the house knocking,
I shrug.
A week ago the lights went out.
Now I don't spend my nights
in the narcotic stare
of the TV. I shower outside
under a hose's wand.
Afterwards I lie on the ground
spreading my long wingspread under Orion.
I see constellations that I have renamed:
"Savor the Moment", "Enjoy the Ride".
Their names are like magnetic notes
on a fridge, holding the coordinates
that always bring me back
to earth.
There is no need for heaven
when everywhere there is beauty:
the Angel's Trumpet tree opens its chamber
of perfumes at night.
The wind sighs like a bride's dress
as it falls to the floor.
Six years ago I almost died.
I don't worry about small things.
So when my plumbing starts to tremble
like a small child under a cold shower,
the bones of the house knocking,
I shrug.
A week ago the lights went out.
Now I don't spend my nights
in the narcotic stare
of the TV. I shower outside
under a hose's wand.
Afterwards I lie on the ground
spreading my long wingspread under Orion.
I see constellations that I have renamed:
"Savor the Moment", "Enjoy the Ride".
Their names are like magnetic notes
on a fridge, holding the coordinates
that always bring me back
to earth.
There is no need for heaven
when everywhere there is beauty:
the Angel's Trumpet tree opens its chamber
of perfumes at night.
The wind sighs like a bride's dress
as it falls to the floor.
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Renaming Constellations
Hi Bob
Workshop consider:
Afterwards I lie on the ground
spreading my long wingspread under Orion.
chamber for shop;
also consider trunk
gown for dress
Title as:
"Rediscovering Constellations"
I enjoyed discovering this
Michael (MV)
Workshop consider:
Afterwards I lie on the ground
spreading my long wingspread under Orion.
chamber for shop;
also consider trunk
gown for dress
Title as:
"Rediscovering Constellations"
I enjoyed discovering this
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Renaming Constellations
the Angel's Trumpet tree opens its shop
of perfumes at night.
of perfumes at night.
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- Posts: 1983
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Renaming Constellations
I like it Bob,
Last stanza/strophe not needed in my opinion.
Afterwards - one word.
Frig - with an 'e', fridge unless you meant frigging coolbox.
Consider: constellations that I call . . .
Last stanza/strophe not needed in my opinion.
Afterwards - one word.
Frig - with an 'e', fridge unless you meant frigging coolbox.
Consider: constellations that I call . . .
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Renaming Constellations
This latest version reads perfectly. Especially the last three stanzas.
Re: Renaming Constellations
Looks good Bob, I like it.
Re: Renaming Constellations
Beautiful poem - great word choices. I absolutely love the last stanza.
Eira
Eira