Butterfly Effect Letter

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Butterfly Effect Letter

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 11 Mar 2019, 20:25

You lie in our bed,
The backs of his
Fingertips stroke
The inside of your thigh
Light as the delicate
Pulse of a Painted Lady.


I imagine your halting
Breath, visions of
Tidal waves, the two
Of you lost in deluge.

But you are safe from
me now, distance of
Mercators, at the far
Of the world, stabbing
Your photo with black
Knives in my eyes.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 11 Mar 2019, 23:32

Terrific poem... metaphor extended throughout... and that closing line is to die for... wonderful imaginative piece

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#3 Post by Billy » 15 Mar 2019, 07:22

The second stanza can be interpreted two ways, maybe, or I'm just reading it wrong, but lost in a deluge could mean they were having fantastic sex or it could be the N's ill will imaging them drowning. Otherwise I like the poem a lot. I like the Painting Lady image and the knives.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 15 Mar 2019, 10:19

Thanks Bob. Billly. Butterfly Effect 8s a chaos theory that states the fluttering of a butterfly wings can touch off a tsunami thousands of miles away. IDK if I believe it, but its that deluge .

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#5 Post by capricorn » 16 Mar 2019, 17:48

Kenneth2816 wrote:
15 Mar 2019, 10:19
Thanks Bob. Billly. Butterfly Effect 8s a chaos theory that states the fluttering of a butterfly wings can touch off a tsunami thousands of miles away. IDK if I believe it, but its that deluge .
What a terrifying thought, Ken. Wonderful poem.

Eira

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 19 Mar 2019, 04:08

Thank you

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#7 Post by FranktheFrank » 19 Mar 2019, 15:55

I don't think the saying is to be taken literally,
but in essence means that small things
can affect great outcomes.

You switch from second to third person
in the first two lines, is that intentional.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#8 Post by Michael (MV) » 19 Mar 2019, 23:27

Hi Kenneth,

illustrated below w/out each line capitalized, some other minor adjustments, and a recast of

"But you are safe from
me now, distance of
Mercators, at the far
Of the world,"

as

But you are safe
from me now, Mercators
away at the far
of the globe,

in the spirit of workshopping   8)   Michael (MV)

You lie in our bed,
the backs of his
fingertips stroke
the inside of your thigh,
light as the delicate
pulse of a Painted Lady.

I imagine your halting
breath, visions of tidal
waves, the two
Of you lost in deluge.

But you are safe
from me now, Mercators
away at the far
of the globe, stabbing
your photo with black
knives from my eyes.
  
 

 
 

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

#9 Post by Kenneth2816 » 20 Mar 2019, 04:14

Thanks you

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